Should I Feel Guilty?

[diamond]

Hello,

 

I am new to this forum and am seeking for some helpful advice.

 

Quite recently, my boyfriend of close to 2 years and I brought up the topic of breaking up. We get into lots of quirrels, and I would bring up the topic of seperating because it doesn't quite seem as though he's a good match for me. He likes to argue a lot. He likes to argue about everything, and what makes me most irritated is that he always has to be right. I'll bring up an interesting topic just for small talk, and he'd get heated up over something small like that. I'm getting tired of it all. Despite everything, I still love him.

 

For a while, I felt unappealing to the oppossite sex. Until recently, I don't know what happened, but whenever I go out, guys will approach me. It's not like I did anything different. Perhaps it's because I actually go out a lot more now than I did a few weeks back. I then realize that I have more options out there. I also realize that my boyfriend doesn't make the effort to treat me right. It seems as though the relationship is more one-sided. Then I realize, if guys still find me attractive, why not break up? Why should I let him hold me back?

 

I feel really bad, because I have a hard time telling people I have a boyfriend when inn the back of my mind, I feel as though I may be missing out since I'm in a dead end relationship anyway. But, how do I just walk away from someone I cared for? It's not easy to break up, especially because I still have feelings for my bf, but he just doesn't treat me right.

 

I don't know what to do. Some advice would be great. I also feel really bad when I let a guy down when i say I have a boyfriend, in which i do. They just seem to take it the wrong way as if I'm lying or something.

 

So my question is, how do I gently let a guy know that I would only like to get to know him as a friend, and nothing more? As of now, even if I do break up, I'd still want to remain single and am not looking for another relationship. I just want to get to know people, that's all.

 

Any advice would be great. Thanks..

[iamteddybearfeelmecuddle]

You're going to have to decide whether you could see your self being happy with this guy for the rest of you life? If not, I'd say don't waste anymore of your time, or his. There are other fish out there, but it doesn't sound like your quite decided yet whether to stay or go, it's up to you. If it's just the one thing that bugs you, then maybe you should tell him it bugs you. But then you say overall he doesn't treat you well so maybe he's just not the guy for you.

[diamond]

Soemtimes, life gets so hectic that we often forget to ask the most obvious/simple questions. I shall take what you said into consideration and really take the plunge and break up. It's so hard though..Thank you for your advice.

[AwdreeHpburn]

Diamond, welcome to ena!!

 

No one takes the "let's just be friends" line well when they're looking for a hook up. And most often, people won't wait around for you to be ready for a relationship.

 

If you're not happy in your current relationship, for sure get out. Of course its hard and its not going to feel good to anyone involved. It WILL take a while to feel better or healed from it. Not getting into another relationship right away is a really good idea.

 

Break it off with your current, date and have fun but take the time to really find a good match or decide what it is you want from someone.

[iamteddybearfeelmecuddle]

Diamond, I lived with a guy for maybe 1.5 years quite a while back. And he treated me kind of similar to how your guy treats you (well, maybe a bit worse). I was going back and forth, back and forth in my mind, should I stay? Should I go? We had a lot of mutual friends, etc...

 

One day out of the blue, he had to work on a Monday, and I for whatever reason had that day off from work. Auto pilot completely took over, and I quickly packed up all my things and moved out all in that one day while he was at work. I never once looked back, it wasn't a mistake to leave, he didn't appreciate me.

 

After that, I started seeing someone else right away. (Though the two had nothing to do with eachother, the other guy just happened to be there and interested at that time.) But I went a bit crazy at first when I left. I partied A LOT!! And I mean more than I had when I was still living with my BF, which was a lot!! Making a break like that can make you go a bit crazy for a while with your newfound freedom!! And its scary when you're used to having the same person around and of course then they're not there anymore. So, be prepared for that.

[Rain__man]

The guy here could easily be me... What are all your feelings on people who have just had people their own stupidity hit them like a ton of bricks?

 

The woman who was the love of my life used to jokingly call me "Mr. Right". We're on the outs too, and I guess I was just blind to when "Mr. right" turned into "Mr know-it-all"... and the lack of respect this kind of thing must show on a constant basis.

 

Diamond, just in case his affection has come out as badly as it looks like mine has, I would hope that even the stupid deserve a second chance. If that's really how he is, and he doesn't fall on his * * * when he realizes what he has done, I agree. Get rid of him.