she's thrown me sideways, blames me

[lost dog]

we're exes of 3 years, all platonic as we's discussed ad nauseum . recently i get her down to my city (to work), she'd always wanted to be by the sea. we move in toa houseshare, get on great, then she starts shagging the 3rd flatmate (a boy). i'm gutted, cos that's not friends looking out for each other is it?

 

in my confusion i ask her to have me back. it might have been what i wanted one day but not if she's gonna shag 3rd flatmate under the same roof, take away my safe home. I knew it wasnt what i wanted, so i tell her i was confused. still am so upset that she could have done that, knowing it would have hurt me. trouble is, i now know she's not the kind of frriend i thought she was, i don't hold her in the same regard as before, and it's time to sever contact. she's hurt because i went out with her briefly this time, but it was with wonky head, caused by her.

 

i'm just overwhelmingly disappointed that she's turned out cheap and desperate. i dont want to hurt her feelings but dont want to hang around to get more hurt by her. how do i tell her?

[agent1607307371]

I think that you have to be very honest about your feelings for her not being as platonic as you claimed they were for a start.

 

Your reaction is almost as if you're being betrayed, when in reality she has done nothing wrong.

[lost dog]

i thought she was amazing, i thought she had the finest qualities anyone could have. but i didnt want to go out with her again. i know it sounds wet, but i held her up as the perfect friend. i would have been delighted had she got off with anyone else, just not the flatmate (that's the one thing i would have made sure i never did). i do feel she let me down, as a friend, which is more important to me in a way - it's like my faith in humans has been deflated. i'm just going to have to get on and see if i meet someone else who can live up to the expectations I had of her.

 

Most people must think i'm mad and oversensitive - surely looking out for each other's not too much to ask from a friend?

[agent1607307371]

Did she know about the expectations you had of your friendship with her?

[lost dog]

they were only the expectations one would have of any close friend, which means to look out for each other and not take away the safe roof over my head. in retrospect, i should've just moved out.