update on everything so far

[dazedandconfusedbydestiny]

Ok where to start. First off I finally heard from bob and we are

getting together july 1st to talk about everything.

 

2nd I told hubby the truth finally. He took it rather well. He said

he has suspected all along. He also has said even if Christopher

isn't his biological son he is his son he raised him and he won't

throw that away. Which helps.

 

I also told him I believe our marriage is at a standstill anymore it

is like we are 2 strangers sharing a roof and only using each other

for sex with no emotions involved. He said and I qoute "so what's

wrong with that."

 

Myself I replied non emotional sex you can get anywhere but

shouldn't be in a marriage.

 

I know I have made alot of steps, 1 with bob wanting to talk about

everything, 2 telling hubby the truth. But I am still lost as to

where to go from here.

 

I do not wish to sever my husbands ties with my son if it comes out

that he is Bobs child. I want them to continue their relationship.

But I also do want to give Bob a chance to get to know him and find

out if what I have always suspected was true. Hubby agrees Bob has a

right to know, but hes not exactly comfortable with Bob getting to

know Christopher. But really he has no choice in the matter.

 

I know I have come a long way since last time I updated you, and I

know I still have a long way to go. Alot I won't know until I talk

to Bob about it.

 

Just thought you would like to know whats going on.

 

Wanda

[robowarrior]

If he is the biological father isn't really the most important issue, what matters is that although you two are empty for eachother, your hubby does love your son,invested effort into raising him, and giving him away father or not is emotionally hard for him.

 

I believe your 100% right on that emotions while having sex should be part in any given marriage.

 

Be aware on the effect this is going to have on your son, seeing the world around you corrode isn't a great example and although its a very unfortunate situation, you still want to have a genetic test to see who really is the father off the child. Its important for the child as well as the parents. Im not sure what construction of life you are going to live in the future, most likely 'i gamble' living together with Bob. Im not sure how old your child is, if he's really used to your hubby(which i can imagine) then i think that even if the hub isn't the real father, an arrangement of seeing him should be available. I gues i don't know your entire situation but my gues is that you needed love in your marriage, and your hub to have his selfish needs forfilled, i gues thats why he could make a remark about the sex that you quoted just like asif that was how normal couples lead their marriages. Which should never be the case.