Handling things and getting over it quicker

[Skippy]

Question:

 

How do people handle situations that they are not "happy with" at work and in personal life and get over it? the situation is not wrong nor is it right, it is just different from the way you believed it should be done.

 

How do you guys get over it?

 

ADDED:

How do you guys get over it if it is eatig at you ?

[melrich]

That's hard to answer without knowing the importance or scale of the issue involved.

 

Most things I just deliberately put in the past and choose not to revisit them. It's done and over now move on with other stuff.

[Skippy]

but if it is eating at you ??

[melrich]

I guess if something is eating at you then you have not dealt with it. So I'd suggest deal with it. You may not get it completely resolved but if you know you can do no more then you should be able to put it behind you.

 

It's hard to say though when we are just talking so broadly.

[Skippy]

hmmm. ok.. i'll throw you an example.

you are at work, your boss is acting like an abosulote * * * * * and her decissions you know are incorrect. Her preparation for the goal is not done and thereforeeee at the time of implementation you know it is either going to fail or you are going to have to do alot more work to make up(cover up) for the lack of preparation. This has continued to happen and you keep bringing it up but she just doesntwant to know about it, because she thinks there isnt a problem. What do you do??

 

You have tried to implement a system but she thinks t is useless or it is undermining her because it indicates that she isnt doing her just.(her fair share)

 

Btw.. she owns the ompany. so there is no superior above her.

[melrich]

If it were me I'd speak to her boss. If I were doing that i'd have all my concerns clearly documented.

[itsallgrand]

In that example, I would ask for a one-on-one meeting to discuss my concerns. I would lay my case (after carefully preparing it) and give specific examples, ask for specific actions to be taken, stating that I feel I am not able to properly perform my job under the circumstances and showing how she specifically would benefit from such changes, how the level of my performance would increase.

 

If the boss refused to listen, nothing could be worked out, and it became 'do it the this way only': I would start looking for another job if it impacted me greatly enough. Life is just too short to work in a miserable situation with a boss that doesn't care about employee input.

 

It's so dependent on the specifics of the situation. I weigh pros and cons and decide: Is this worth pushing or do I need to accept it/leave?

 

As far as situations where you just have to put up with annoying things:

I try to simply do it and make a game out of it in my head to get through.

Like for example: having to do inventory and paperwork that is pointless, a waste of time, and inefficient IMO. I just do it and try to gain what I can from the situation. At the very least I can work on patience and tolerance.

[Skippy]

That is exactly my point... how do you accept it??

[itsallgrand]

For myself: I refocus my energies and thoughts. Consider it a 'dead horse'. No more can be done.

 

So you shift your brain to what you can do. Look for new opportunities for making positive changes or learning something new. Most situations have plenty of opportunities for improvements that are needed if you look hard enough.

 

That way, you become too busy to care about the bs.

[Skippy]

itsllgrand... ok.. i can understand what you are saying...

somehow what i am trying to say is . i am havng problems accepting the "dead horse", and i am stuck in a situation where i cant leave this job.

 

[Skippy]

the best way i can describe it is... i am a spoilt brat that is trying to handle how to get over it... i am trying to find away to get over the situation and accept it.

 

(Not that i am a spoilt brat.. but relating to it)

[itsallgrand]

lol. I've got my brat side.

 

I guess, it's kinda hard to help without knowing what's eating ya.

[Skippy]

itsallgrand.

it is like this,

i am in media productions, everything is based on pre-production. If ou dont plan, you pplan to fail. She doesnt plan! she even write script on set!! she even has to stop production to write HER script to replace the existing script. for me as a director and a DOP it is frustrating. The crew look to e for leadership but when ever she steps in to the scene the whole production schedule goes up in smoke. we ALL have to work overtime with no extra income. But the is not the point, the point is that she blattenly disregards how the whole crew feels. btw that is 10 of us on set excluding the actors. It is just so damn frustrating. Hr additions to the script doesnt add anything special. It could have been done the night before. She steps on set and not knowing what is happening re-organises the shooting schedule. God, i am so pissed off!!! i have shown her the problems she has caused, the in-effiency. She take it the wrong way, she then says that i am organising the crew to be against her. I become the bad guy with her, the crew like me cos i dont take no crap and when i am on set i am in charge, BUT when that happens she puts her foot down.. blahblah blah...

She has then become a personal family friend, and she bad mouths my behaviour to my family. ( which i dont really care but the point is that she shouldnt be *it is unprofessional and unethical*)

I know i am beating a dead horse.. i just have to find some way of gettig over it. Other then sticking a knife in her.

[itsallgrand]

Aarrghh that would be frustrating! She sounds kinda dippy.

 

How long do you have to work with her? Like, is there an end in sight?

I dunno what to say. It sucks having to work with certain people, and sometimes yeah it can't be avoided. That's usually when I come home and hit the punching bag for a while or b - with the coworkers a bit to blow off steam. Get out the stress and try to leave it at work as much as i can.

 

peace

[Skippy]

the other level is that she doesnt know where to daw the line. work is work.. where does she get off complaning to my family members and affecting my relationship with them?

Really, she is a b!tch!! but i cant leave just yet, and even when i do she has affected my family. Really, i think it is un-ethical what she has done.

 

But i have to get over it or i am going to ..run her downwith my on set forklift!!

[Skippy]

what is worst it this, i catch myself doing things just the annoy her. like, at the end of the shooting schedule, i would say "it's a wrap!". she would then tellme she want something shot in another location. SHe has been on set for hours and she tell me at the end of the day!!.. So i would turn to her and say, i called a "wrap", it ia a wrap, the crew isnt going to shoot any more, you should have told me earlier, This seriously pisses her off! i ignor it and do my things. I am surprised she hasnt fired my * * * * yet. But she need me now, at the end of the project she WILL fire my * * * *. uless i leave before that. But that is the thing, she is driving me to act unprofessional.!!!

[itsallgrand]

Oy! What a mess, Skippy. Was she a friend of your family first?

Protect your own * * * *. You don't want this to follow you around later or affect your career.

Seriously, I'd made plans now for an exit strategy. Some way that you will look shining in the end.

[Skippy]

she knoew of my extended family but not well. The are quite influencienial so when she got me on board and found out that they were my family she used that you her benefit..

B!ITCH!!

 

Besides the point, i have to learnto get over these things or they are gogto eat at me. Some one help!!

I am not new to dealing with people, but this is a total different level that i have never coe accross. It is eating at me.