Is there a 'best' way of dumping someone?

[Pixiemeat]

I was dumped by telephone on Friday. We had been seeing each other for about a month. Whilst that's not an epic relationship, I had hopes (he claimed he was 'too busy' for a relationship) and we had a great time whenever we hung out.

 

Anyway, it's over, and I'm alright with it. The initial shock and sadness has given way to anger, mostly because of the way in which he dumped me.

 

So is there ever a good way to dump someone? We weren't together for too long, so is telephone dumping ok? I would never consider dumping anyone by phone, it reeks of cowardice - especially if you've been together for a while. I've always dumped boyfriends in person, no matter how uncomfortable it is. So do methods of dumping differ with the amount of time you've been together? How have you dumped people?

[laura_5000]

I think dumping someone on the phone is wrong, I must admit I once dumped someone through a text which I know is very wrong but I was shy @ the time and it wasn't at all a serious relationship.

 

I don't think that there is a 'right' way to dump someone just that it should be in person.

[Rainz]

If the relationship is serious and your commited it should be done in person.

 

If I had just met someone and had been dating them at the getting to know you/courtship stage, before it becomes a relationship, then I think over the phone is fine.

 

Less than that, text, email, just not calling back and disappering I think are all unacceptable and just plain uncourteous and inconsiderate.

 

My ex broke up with me over the phone, out of the blue during a heated argument we were having over our differences. It came out very much on impulse. I'm not at all favourable to it. He doesn't even know either.

I was able to not make it a big deal because as much as I didn'tlike it, that's the only real "disrespectful" thing that he has done. He's always been respectfuly to me both during and after the break up, it's just the actual break-up itself where he really let me down.

[TakingtheBlame]

I think that, in addition to the actual duration of the relationship, the relationship's level of seriousness and the level of involvement with the person are also factors in determining how to "correctly" dump someone. I think it's always better to err on the side of face to face breakups if the person one is breaking up with is somebody with whom one wishes to retain a personal or professional relationship post-breakup, or with whom one has had a decent acquaintanceship before dating.

 

About a month ago, I also had a guy I had been seeing for a month call me on the phone to tell me he didn't think things were working out between us and that he was too busy to try and work at it. I think that, had this been just a casual one month relationship with a guy I had met at a bar or through a friend and hung out with every few days or so, I would have totally understood and not felt so slighted by this phone-dump. However, this guy was a classmate with whom I had been on friendly terms before dating him, and with whom I had spent a good number of hours every single day on the phone or out for coffee or at my apartment watching TV. In addition, I had gone away with him for a few days immediately preceding said phone-dump, and I was going to see him in class every day for the next three weeks (thank goodness for summer break). Soooo, despite the measly one-month duration of the relationship and the lack of official commitment, I was furious that he couldn't give me some professional courtesy at the very least and tell me to my face that things weren't going to work out. In fact, I am still a bit miffed, and I refuse to speak to him past a polite "hi" when we cross paths.

 

So, yeah. Several factors to consider, IMO. But personally, having been both dumper and dumpee at one time or another, I am a wholehearted champion of the face to face breakup. I think there's a lot of respect and compassion for the dumpee displayed by use of that tactic.

[toughtime]

nope. it just happens..

 

i broke up with my 1st bf by phone (at the time we were long distance) but we dated for 5 years! He did not like the way we had ended esp since we are good friends so he came down and we did it in person. Which was nicer...

 

But when you break up with someone you dont always plan it. somtimes it just happens.

 

my last bf and i broke up over the phone too. we were on a "break" and had not talked in a week..i called him and he told me that things were just not going to work b/c we were going to be long distance.

 

we are going to talk in person one more time when we give our things back. but i think sometimes it just happens...