went out with ex, now i'm sad but still hopeful

[confused79]

To make a long story short, recently I met up with my ex boyfriend after 4 years or non-communication. We dated at the end of high school and some college for nearly 3 years. Partially the reason we broke up was because of the distance our colleges were away from one another. After 4 years, he contacted me and we've talked almost everyday since. This was about 2 months ago. We met, went out, out to dinner, pool, and back to my place. We talked and enjoyed each others company until 4:30 in the morning. We talked and cuddled and I guess you could say we kissed. At this point I felt happy and sad at the same time. I knew it would be hard because he lives states away and won't come back for just under 3 years since he's in the service. I was happy because he initated this physical contact with me. I'm not sure what to do because he told me that he didn't want to have a long distance relationship and that is how he felt. He knows that I probably had hopes but now I'm at a loss. I'm hoping that he'll come to his senses because even after 4 years, I still care about him a lot and think of him. I would do anything for him. If it would come to it, I'd move there to be with him. I'm scared to ask him if he still has feelings for me because then I'd be more crushed but thats probably what I should do. Wouldn't he though if he spent all this time with me, talks with me all the time, and even cuddled with me. Is there another way? He even mentioned that I could visit him instead of waiting for him to come back for a visit. I want to still chat with him but would be very upset if he told me about people that he started dating. No one as of right now though. There is too much to leave behind, too many things that happened recently that makes me think of it more than a coincidence that we both decided to contact each other around the same time (i had a letter written to his family). anyway....please read my other entries about how this reconnection happened and I really would like some advice. thanks so much

[charmed]

Hi There Confused !

 

I've had a look at your other posts there. Its a shame that you guys had to break when the distance came between you. I wonder did he really not love you anymroe or was he just saying that to make things easier for himself. Contacting you "because her was bored" sounds a bit suspicious to me - thats not the sort of thing I would do to my ex of 4 years!

 

You cuddled and kissed a bit - well that says that he is not completely closed to the idea of being with you - and I guess that the distance is the reason again that you guys are apart. If I was you, I'd arrange a visit up to see him in his new place - not too soon - maybe in a month or two. That would give you a chance to check the place and his friends out and see if moving there is even a remote possibility. In the meantime, you can keep up contact with him, and perhaps if the timing is right talk to him about your feelings. It may be better to wait though until you visit him - that could be a really nice visit for you - but you could at least get some form of closure on the issue and see where you stand once and for all.

 

You've been working up to his visit there for over a month, and you did get some of what you were looking for. Hang in there, take deep breaths and figure out your next move !!!

 

Good luck,

 

~Charmed~