A little bit confused

[iamconfused5302]

Hey Everyone,

 

I just don't get it. I have been casually dating this one girl for the past few weeks. She calls and texts me all the time more than I call or text her. The thing is she has broken up with her bf that she had a 3 yr relationship with 2 months ago. She tells me 2 days ago that she likes me alot and doesnt know if she wants a relationship with me esp. a long term one. So, I told her that I understand there is no pressure and to take her time. She also mentioned that she would be upset if she saw me dating other girls. I told her i wouldnt and prob wrong move on my part but i dont know. I seriously think shes confused. To be honest I care for the girl and like her also. My question is, what shall i do?

[thegirl_00]

She's probably having mixed feelings because she's not over her ex yet. I wouldn't suggest going out with her just yet, but maybe just date because rebound relationships dont tend to work out too well.

Seems like she likes you but I wouldn't rush into anything. Just give her her space and try to be patient.

[iamconfused5302]

I see, thanks for the reply. Another note, she kissed me and treats me like a bf.

[Tigris]

I agree that you mustn't rush into anything whilst she's confused. It's better for your sake to be patient.

[iamconfused5302]

yea, the funny thing is i was just joking around. Said you want to meet my family. I was a bit surprised that she says yes she wants to meet them.

But heck, i guess patience is a virtue

[Dating Coach]

Hey Everyone,

 

I just don't get it. I have been casually dating this one girl for the past few weeks. She calls and texts me all the time more than I call or text her. The thing is she has broken up with her bf that she had a 3 yr relationship with 2 months ago. She tells me 2 days ago that she likes me alot and doesnt know if she wants a relationship with me esp. a long term one. So, I told her that I understand there is no pressure and to take her time. She also mentioned that she would be upset if she saw me dating other girls. I told her i wouldnt and prob wrong move on my part but i dont know. I seriously think shes confused. To be honest I care for the girl and like her also. My question is, what shall i do?

 

Telling her you would wait when she just told you that she isn't interested in a long term relationship with you was a big time blunder on your part. You just failed a test. She tells you that she may not want to be with you which shows you that her interest level is low on you, but then she throws you a bomb and tells you that she wouldn't like it if she saw you with another woman. That right there should tell anyone that she is being ridiculous and that the appropriate response would be, "I'm sorry you feel that way but if you aren't wanting to be exclusive with me then I am not going to sit around and wait. Either we are exclusive or we are not, and you just told me that we are not. If I meet someone else, I'm going out on a date with them." Because that's fair and that shows that you respect yourself. Instead, what you just showed her that she can use you. Think about it.

[iamconfused5302]

thanks for the reply. even though she was thinking of having a serious relationship with me. She said that to me few nights ago.

[Dating Coach]

She tells me 2 days ago that she likes me alot and doesnt know if she wants a relationship with me esp. a long term one.

 

thanks for the reply. even though she was thinking of having a serious relationship with me. She said that to me few nights ago.

 

Okay. So which is it?

[iamconfused5302]

she told me few nights ago. that she was thinking of having a serious relationship and then she says she doesnt. i think shes confused. After the night she told me she was thinking of having the relationship with me. she kissed me. LOL

[Dating Coach]

How old is she? The reason I ask is because the last time I remembered talking to a girl that acted like that was in High School. Usually adult mature women do not get "confused" like this and tell you that she wants you one minute and that she doesn't the next.

 

If they do say this then they are messing with you and disrespecting you. I personally wouldn't tolerate this. You are sending a terrible message to her when you sit there and take this kind of balogne. You tell her that you don't have enough strength to stand up for yourself or to tell her to quit messing with you. This sets up a load of crap for the future.

[iamconfused5302]

I see thanks for the tip. One more question, when I tell her things that I dont care. She calls me more and she always asks me if Im mad at her.

What is up with that? to answer to your question she is 23 yrs old

[luxe_13]

I'd be very careful. this girl is on the rebound. She is going tohave mixed emotions as she isprobably still healing from her last relationshi. Even if some days she appears to be encouraging the relationship to race along, I would try to take it VERY slowly with her. By all means, continue to date but keep it casual until she is 100% of her feelings and she is over her ex.

 

Trust me. I've been there.

[iamconfused5302]

yea last night , she calls me and says what im doing. I said im hanging out with my friend and was drinking. So I told her that i was going to call her back when im finished. She texts mess. me 30 min. later that she is going to bed. i texted her back to wish her a good night and she responds stop texting me im sleeping. so i texted back and said,"remember u texted me first and had the common courtesy to respond back to you cause thats the respectful way. if you dont like it, just dont talk to me. thanks take care". few seconds later , she calls me that she was sleeping, i told her that she didnt have to treat me in a mean way. Then she goes we are not going out and i said thats right we arent. so go to sleep and good night. thats the end of it.

[Dating Coach]

Well, at least you are standing up for yourself but you didn't do it in the best way because you kind of came accross like an angry kid. You need to have better control. Instead of responding with, "remember u texted me first and had the common courtesy to respond back to you cause thats the respectful way. if you dont like it, just dont talk to me. thanks take care" you could have taken a second to realize that she might have been joking around with you-in which case your blow up was childish-or you could have simply not responded at all. In all things you want to try to keep control over yourself and your emotions.

[iamconfused5302]

thanks for the response. what now? we made plans to hang next saturday. shall i give the space thing and just go with the flow.