Maybe this is relevant......

[alteer]

I hadn't mentioned this in my breakup story or in my other rants because I didn't think it was relevant to the breakup.....but after chatting with someone on msn i'm starting to have second thoughts.....maybe it's completely relevant to my whole sorry tale.

 

 

 

I have 2 kids, 14 and 11, now I didn't think this was a problem for my ex (god it's hard calling him that) because he got on with them really well and included them in everything, taking them on outings etc.

 

But I'm now thinking that this would have been a major part of his decision in breaking up with me and being confused about what he wants. Don't know why I've only just thought of this! I've thought a tonne of crazy things over the past couple of weeks and this one only dawned on me today. Weird.

 

Anyway I'm wondering if guys are more worried about commiting to someone with kids. My kids don't see their father, he is a way out of the picture and has been for the past 11 yrs. My kids don't even know him.

 

The thing is that I would like to have more kids, under the right circumstances of course, I would most definitely have to be in a great relationship and be married. Don't get me wrong I didn't want this relationship just for that reason, to have more kids. I don't NEED a man I WANT one, I don't NEED more kids but I would like the companionship a life partner brings (sharing your life, hopes, dreams, crap etc with someone) and I would like to explore the option of more kids before I get to old to do so.

 

I know it sounds stupid and it's really difficult to explain.

 

Any opinions would be more than welcome.

[melrich]

Anyway I'm wondering if guys are more worried about commiting to someone with kids.

 

I'd have thought that was a no brainer. Kids are a whole other factor to consider. You are not just commiting to a relationship with the mother but potentially to a step parenting role as well.

 

A man who gave this issue no consideration is not worth your consideration as a partner.

[alteer]

Well see I thought it would have been a problem in the beginning and I talked to him about it. He said that it wasn't.

 

It's just that plenty of women have kids and plenty manage to find someone. It just makes me wonder what the hell is wrong with me!!

[melrich]

I'm not saying that having kids is a turn off....just that it brings with it more issues to consider. there are many men that will like the idea of an instant family.

 

Well see I thought it would have been a problem in the beginning and I talked to him about it. He said that it wasn't.

 

Then he is not thinking about it enough. It's not a problem but there are many issues to consider. Any man that just dismisses the fact that you have children as being relevant to your relationship is not giving appropriate thought to the relationship.

[alteer]

I'm actually feeling quite dumb right now.

 

Don't know why I didn't consider that this could've been his reason for dumping me. He just never came accross as though the kids were an issue for him......he got along with them and they got along with him.

 

I'm such an idiot.....