I want to shut down my sex drive

[Frajhav]

i find it useless and trouble making,my gf will not have sex until marrige and i agree with it,but i been getting so much urges to at least have oral sex no penetration intended...so its been bugging me and im tired of it,anyone know a way? i dont want to masturbate or please my self as an only option

[monkey1]

How long have you and your gf been together?

[FCTex]

Dump her.

 

Lets put it this way, it sounds harsh, I know. But it says your 20. This girl doesn't want to have sex till she is married, which is very respectable on her part, and shouldn't be pushed really.

 

Now, considering she's the same age.. Do you see marrying her? If you've been in a long relationship, I'd assume like every one would say, "sure!"..

 

So ask yourself.. If you see marrying her, and see it ultimately going that way in a few years, and if you can WAIT for her, then wait.. Deal with it, because there's nothing you can do but masterbate at this point, if she's not open to anything.

 

If you honestly, don't see marriage, and your sexual urges are becoming so much that you don't feel like you want to wait, or can't live that lifestyle, then don't. Break up with her, and continue on your way that makes you comfortable.

 

Don't comform, because it's going to cause you to pressure her and lead to problems, and if you can't live with it, then fix it where you are ultimately happy.... FULLY.

 

You have two options. Stay with her and find ways without her to please yourself... Or leave the relationship.

[Tigris]

Have you talked to her about doing oral?

[Frajhav]

I love her to much to dump her,shes seriously perfect for me if things going the way they are in our love life yes i can see my self married with her,what basically bugs me is that oviusly my sex drive is wayyyy more than hers,we been together 9 month now,i ould say thats the only "problem" i see,but thats the thing im willing to wait but i dont want to be fighting myself wile i wait so im looking for options to solve this..i mean if i see guys with low sex drive..how come i cant have one then ??

[FCTex]

Why would you want to have a low sex drive to see marrying someone after 9 months?

 

 

Listen to the way your talking.. I'd talk to her about it... Sounds unhealthy IMO.

[quietgrl]

Frajhav,

 

 

I think you have a big decision to make.I'm waiting to have sex via LT relationship or marriage too.I'm 36.Does your GF know about your sex drive? I would let her know.How you feel and don't push for vaginal sex.

She might compromise with outercourse(hand job,mutual masturbation,erotic massage,role play or maybe oral sex).I'm glad some men are willing to wait for a woman

[Tigris]

I agree with quietgrl you've got to talk to her. All relationships need communication to keep them healthy.

[FCTex]

Some of those suggestions are great, but some of those are STILL sex, be it vaginal intercourse or not.. Keep that in mind.

[monkey1]

Well, when my boyfriend and I were intimate, I was totally not ready to have sex, vaginal that is. We fooled around several times, but we didn't have any sex whatsoever (oral included). He was super horny and respected my decision to wait till I was ready and we pleased each other as much as possible without having any sex. So it just depends on if your girlfriend is willing to help you out or not.

 

I consider oral, as sex. Some don't but whatever. Have you at all fooled around?

 

I also agree you should talk to her and if you are serious and this is a big issue, it must be discussed.

[Riles84]

K the only thing you need to ask yourself is . .do you really love this girl. If you really do then you'll be able to wait for her to be ready. If you want to slow your sex drive down .. the best way is to pre occupy yourself with other hobbys .. and of course you can still masterbate .

 

Im telling you sex is not the biggest thign in the world, and it is possible to not allow yourself to surcome to temptation. Ive gone a year by choice and i have to say i dont miss it as much as i thought ( dont get me wrong I lvoe sex). If sex is more important to you than the relationship though I suggest ending it, because its only gonna drive a stake through the realtionship.

[hardcharger]

you might have a long troublesome life with this girl if she doesn't understand your sex drive. Trouble is many women can be idealistic about sex and think it is soley some emotional "love" thing, which it partly is, but most men have sexual desires that rises constantly and needs to be "released" a few times per week. this will go on for many years into your 50's if you stay healthy. Now this girl might have her wedding night and realize she enjoys sex and a whole new part of her comes alive and you two live happily ever after, OR she might continue to think that sex is this big spiritual/love thing rather than a male physical release thing. Then you are in trouble, because you will be getting it infrequently and will be frustrated for your entire life, masturbating wishing you had the real thing, a wife who understands your physical needs and is willing to fulfill them, whether she is in the mood or not.

 

>sex is not the biggest thing in the world

WRONG, for me, it is!!!!!

[TheWriter1]

if her sex drive doesn't match yours right now then it sure as hell won't after you two are married. If this doesn't bother her, then whos to say you won't be getting it once a week if that when it finally does happen? And no offense, but to me it sounds like you need it alot more than that.

[Frajhav]

dont twist the subject couse u all are problem is not her at all,if im with her is cous ei decided to wait all that time,the problem is me... my sex drive can keep me horny allmost an entire day... masturbate or not hehe im still horny hours later so im looking for way to lower that or look for other alternative ither masturbating wish im not to fund off...anyways i can wait AND NO SEX IS NOT MORE IMPORTANT TO ME like riles84 said..dude were the heck u got that idea? (im looking for ways to lower my sex drive)not ways to get laid with my GF...my gf ofcrose affects it iven more couse well...shes hawt and has a great boddy >

[GottaLetItBurn]

Dump her, I agree with that.

 

That is the only way, and I'm sure you can figure out the reasons why it's best.

 

Like a poster already said, you are respecting her wish. Don't waste your time, if she really felt anything for you I think she would just have sex.

 

I think that woman should know that if they aren't going to do that then the penalty is getting dumped.

 

Both men and woman want sex, it's a natural urge..For her to deny herself that pleasure for a moral reason is just rediculous. You don't deserve that.

[AwdreeHpburn]

Fraj - I think that your sex drive is indicative of your age. BUT, you will prolly always have a sex drive that is stronger than hers.

 

My husband's is WAAAYY different than mine.

 

I don't know why you and she have decided to wait and I disagree with a need for it, that's of course my opinion, but I commend you both for sticking to your convictions.

 

As for what you can do besides masturbation, cheating on her or getting her to cave, the only thing I can think to suggest is.....propose and wait.

[justpaisley]

It is downright wonderful to see people on here that actually want to wait till marriage, and to see guys on here who respect their girlfriends' decisions to wait. You don't want to pressure her because you want to wait too, and I think that's fanstastic. Trust me, the wedding night won't be so great, but the fact that you're giving the most intimate part of yourself to one person and one person only for the rest of your life and receiving the same in return from them is so incredibly rewarding.

 

The two of you may not have a different sex drive - she may just have more willpower than you do. Ask her what it is she does to keep her mind off of sex. It may be the case that she just doesn't think about it as much as you do, or doesn't want it as much as you do. Make sure you're both completely honest with each other about it, as difficult as it may be.

 

What are your hobbies? Do you play video games? Think diversions - whenever you start to get really horny, go do something else. The urge will pass, and the more you build your willpower, the easier it will get to not think about it, trust me. I was outrageously horny when I was 18-19, ready to give up on the waiting-till-marriage thing, when someone told me just to go do something else if I started to give in to temptation. It works. When my husband and I started dating, if it started to go too far, we'd literally get up and go for a walk (or one of us would ).

 

Stay strong, and good luck! Good for you!!

[justpaisley]

I think that woman should know that if they aren't going to do that then the penalty is getting dumped.

 

I think that's one of the most chauvinist things I've ever read in my life. As if not being ready for sex is a bad thing deserving of a penalty. I guess all women should just have sex for fear of being dumped then... Give me a break.