Ex just said this

[xblondyx]

Ok, i'm just gonna copy this from our MSN conversation. I thought it was pretty sweet and shows this from the dumpers perspective 2 and a half months down the line.

 

He said

i feel really bad about what i did to you. i wish i hadn't * * * *ed up your life like i did. Knowing what i did to you makes me feel like * * * * and it doesnt matter how much you say its ok, i still cant forgive myself. Now, sometimes i look at the picture of you and think, should i still be with her? what would it be like if i was? but then i think that i would end up hurting you all over again. i just cant explain how bad i feel for doing this to you.

Sometimes i still think i want to be with you but i'd end up doing something totally stupid if i hurt you again. Seeing how hurt you were makes me think how * * * *ing stupid i was to do this to you. Im so sorry. You loved me and it scared me as no-one has ever loved me before. And i hurt you. Im so sorry. I can't understand why you still speak to me or like me. Im sorry.

 

Jus thought i'd share that with you all x x

[Mrocza]

:s Doesn't really seem too sweet to me.

 

Isn't this the guy that screwed you over? Even he says it doesn't matter how much you say its ok - he knows he screwed up. He says he can't help but hurt you everytime he has a chance.

 

Why do you still speak to him? :s

 

You were doing so good and being so strong!!

[xblondyx]

Well i think it's sweet. And i talk to him because even though we were together and he finished with me, we were friends for 6 and a bit years before this and we did not want to throw that all away. We connected on a friendship level and are both happy being friends. I know people out there will say i'm stupid, but i'm happy.

He didn't screw me over, he was scared as i was the girl who hadn't dumped him yet...no-one has ever loved him before and he couldn't believe that i did.

 

Is that so bad?

[thegirl_00]

Well if your happy then thats wonderful! But if your happy becauseyou still like this guy and you think that you guys are going to get back together based on that email then i think you might be in trouble. But if your happy just to be friends with him then thats great. Friends are great to have expecially if they make you happy.

[xblondyx]

It's purely friendship. It's back to what it was like before the relationship. We both know that nothing will ever happen again. I'm crushing on someone else and he just wants casual stuff. We both talked it over and realised we wanted each other in our lives, but how it used to be. And it's soo much better. He's one of my best friends and i think it's good that we can still be friends after what we've been through.

 

I know people will think i'm stupid, and i'm sorry for not taking your advice but i've decided to follow my head and heart and do what's best for me. It would hurt me even more to cut him out of my life forever.

[kadvati79]

I felt exactly the same thing about people in the past I screwed over. It doesn't take many mistakes in a relationship for you to be classed as "screwing someone over", so i imagine it is something most of us have done at some stage in our lives.

 

Good on him for admitting it, but I wouldn't hold out any hope. I was/am very sorry for the people I have hurt in the past, and in many cases I ended up reaching out to them later on in life years later and appologising - but it wasn't because I had hope - it was simply because I felt bad.

[Scotcha]

I'm glad that you are happy being friend with him and you two have found a way to make it work.

 

That being said, I've never thought anyone to be sweet for making an apology when one is owed.

[AwdreeHpburn]

good call Scotcha -

 

but XblondyX- I too am glad you're happy with the arrangement. I hope it continues to work well for you!

[bobo85]

The msn message is not to make you feel better, its to make himself feel better. He wants you to say...its okay...so he can be happier about what he did to you.

[Caterina]

The msn message is not to make you feel better, its to make himself feel better. He wants you to say...its okay...so he can be happier about what he did to you.

 

Unfortunately, this is true. However, if it somehow eases the pain of the break-up to remain friends instead of NC, then that is your choice and I am glad you are following your heart. Sometimes it really isn't about a one-up, it really isn't about protecting yourself (how can it be done if you've already been hurt?)- its about following your heart.