Stop me doing something stupid..

[hopelesscase]

I am going crazy, I really like this women, but she doesnt want a relationship with anyone at the moment and just wants to be friends.

 

I know I shouldnt feel like I do, I know I need distractions and I need to stop focusing on her but I cant, it is making me sick, I just want to be with her so much, I just feel a strong connection with her....I kninda feel like she does like me, but is just not in the right place for a relationship right now, My instincts are telling me the same. I so much want to accept and jus be a friend and see what develops but I just cant stop myself doing silly things (such as I ask her to meet up, n she has a reason such as she got her kids, so I suggest including the kids and then she goes quiet on me n then I get paranoid and say is cool you tell me when you free n she doesn't) and probably making things worse instead of better.

 

I need people to tell me why it is a good thing I go no contact and wait for her to get in touch, it has only been 2 days since I last sent her a message, I really want to tell her how I feel but I know it is unliklely to make any difference if anything it will just make her backoff even more.

[annie24]

ok honey - step away from the computer and don't send her that message!!!!

 

If you are sure that she shares some feelings for you, but is not in a good spot for a relationship, then the worst thing you can do is pester her!!!! Back off, do your own thing. Maybe in a few weeks or months, she will be ready, and then she can contact you!!! until then, don't push her farther away.

 

good luck

[AwdreeHpburn]

yeh - I'm with Annie.

 

If you really like her, then you won't mind seeing her happy. If she's told you she just doesn't want a relationship right now, that's a good indication that she just doesn't really want a relationship right now.

 

If you have a hard time being around her in a friendship capacity, then you should prolly back off altogether or it'll get weird...

[hopelesscase]

But if I bac off completely I keep thinking she will jus think i have gien up or dont wanna know her anymore, where do you draw the line?

 

I am keeping busy i have been out wi friends most weekends, even tho i ask her first sometimes, and I do other stuff, but when I am not distracted my thoughts go bac to her, I cant be constantly distracted...

[Dating Coach]

She's ready for a relationship, just not one with you. That is the most common excuse given.

[monsieur]

And don't do the NC thing thinking that it will miraculously change her opinion, do it knowing pretty much that it is hopeless and the NC will hopefully change your own opinion of her, that is about all it pretty much ever achieves.

[Markers]

the point of no contact is to help you to heal, and in no way is even intended to "make her feel for you", as "out of sight, out of mind" works here as well. If you still saw eachother (like at school) then there's a possibility of no contact doing something else, but even then it'd be a very small probability.

[btbt]

I wouldn't torture yourself trying to figure out how to act in a way that will make her ready to like you. I'd let it go; she told you that she was not interested. You'll only torture yourself by hanging on to the hope that she is.