Friend's boyfriend making moves

[SmintyMinty]

This makes me mad. My best friend has been dating this guy for nearly a year and she just introduced me to him. The problem is he keeps hitting on me. He keeps trying to touch me and saying really suggestive things to me - a few days ago he told me thought I was really sexy in front of my best friend. And he can't keep away from me when we're out - like he'd do things that I know are sweet, normal things like getting me a coaster from the bar but when he does it it's just plain annoying. He's always staring at me and it makes me feel really uncomfortable. He does ugh things like make out with my friend while looking at me and it's just nasty.

 

I laugh it off most of the time but I really hate it. What to do? My best friend is smitten with the guy and he can do no wrong. Would she even believe me if I told her? It's got to the point where I make excuses and don't hang out with her if I know he's going to be around. I really don't want to lose my friend and I don't know what to do. Any ideas?!?

[musicchicus]

Keep doing what your doing...avoiding him.

 

Don't tell your friend. This will just put a rift between you two. Eventually, he is going to do something and she will begin to see him for what he is and then you approach the subject...but while she is smitten with him, you won't win.

 

Good luck

[glassbell]

That's just so annoying those types of guys. If he annoys he and spoils your evenings with you friend, I see no other way to let him stop that but just telling him to stop. This is his problem, and not your friend's, so you want to keep her out of the silly story.

 

So next time you see a chance to talk to him alone, stand up for yourself and simply tell him his flirting behaviour just annoys you and you find it disrespectful towards his girlfriend and your friend. Tell the boy that if he doesn't stop flirting with you, you'll go tell his girlfriend. (hopefully it won't come this far, but I don't think so, I think he'll feel 'op z'n pikkie getrapt' as we say in the Netherlands lol)

 

Good luck!

~Glassbell

[SmintyMinty]

Thanks for the advice! I was thinking I'd need to talk to him sooner or later ... I hate confrontations...And I bet he turns round and says that I'm paranoid and imagining things which I know I'm not!

 

He's her first boyfriend in ages and she hasn't much experience with guys. She doesn't have much self-confidence and I think that's also how he gets away with acting the way he does. I think she would rather choose to ignore it as if it's not happening or something. The guy is a jerk but I think she would rather have a boyfriend than no guy at all...

[raggamuffin]

I agree with glassbell, tell him that the things he does are unacceptable and you are not interested in him so it would be great if you could not treat your best friend disrespectfully. Id Say to him something like Im not sure why my best friend likes you because you are repulsive, but I know that she likes you and if you dont stop being a disgusting person I will tell her all the things you do and say to me....Use this as a threat, I wouldnt actually tell her unless he keeps on doing it after you tell him to leave you alone.