When to be exclusive??

[fishrrshortae]

Hey guys,

 

Random question: How long did it take for you and your partner to discuss being exclusive? If you are single, how long do you think you would wait before talking about exclusivity?

 

P.S. one couple I know waited 2 years just to have the exclusive talk..!

[AntiLove_SuperStar]

I kind of assume that when I've spent more than two date-type occasions in the company of someone and we've kissed, we're exclusive.

 

All 12+ people I've been with have shared that line of thinking as well.

 

I've NEVER had an "exclusive" talk in my life..lol.

[novaseeker]

I think it's somewhat cultural and somewhat personal. It's generally more than 2 dates in the US I think. I'd say for me, if I were dating the same person for 2 months I would probably have the talk about exclusivity.

[Scout]

It's kind of been different for each relationship. In my current one, we never even had the talk, we just started saying I love you and calling each other boyfriend/girlfriend. It was pretty obvious at that point we were exclusive. EDITED TO ADD: This was after about three weeks or so.

 

With my last ex boyfriend, he brought it up a month after we started dating. He said he thought we should be exclusive.

[Blue Skittles]

Its different in each relationship

 

Me and my boyfriend didn't have that kind of talk, we were just friends at first and then discussed whether to be bf and gf or not, and of course we decided to go for it, so i guess you could say we were exclusive from the start.

 

My last boyfriend I had to bring it up after a month and a half and he didn't think we should be exclusive so we broke up. He was the only guy I dated where i had to have the 'exclusive' talk though. on all other occasions it just kinda fell into place.

[RayKay]

Varies. I can tell you I sure would not wait for 2 years of dating to determine if we were or weren't though!

 

Sometimes it just "happened" that way, usually when younger you just tended to start "going out" immediately with no talk of it. As I have gotten older though, I found more often you tend to go on a couple dates before determining whether you want to date exclusively. For me, that has worked well since then you know what you are actually getting into I suppose! I am not necessarily dating anyone else when this happens, but it's more of a decision to focus on that person.

 

With my current boyfriend we met online, and he asked me out within a week. We dated about 2-3 times per week for three weeks, then right before a trip I was taking with my sister and mom, I told him I did not want to date anyone else. Which by the way, I had not been since I met him anyway. He agreed. A couple weeks after that we started referring to each other as boyfriend and girlfriend, which for us was for some reason different then dating exclusively I guess! Probably just a different emotional commitment to it, that has them more as part of your life then "dating exclusively" does....

[iamteddybearfeelmecuddle]

it totally depends on the couple and there wouldn't really be a right or wrong answer. but for me and my experiences, after a few to several dates, i will get a feeling whether he and i want to be exclusive, and it seems like it's usually something that's more just 'understood' than actually spoken about (at least for me).

 

also, if i was dating someone for a while and for whatever reason either or both he or i didn't want to be exclusive, i think the relationship would probably just terminate on its own.

[Goodfun88]

With my current bf we became exclusive after 4 months, in the past though its really varied, sometimes a week, sometimes a month. It all depends on when both people are comfortable with it. It also depends on how often you see each other. If you see each other once a week, a month may not see very long, since you've only seen each other about 4 times, on the other hand if you see each other several times a week, you might know that person much better. I usually try to wait until the guy brings it up, since I'm old fashioned like that. But this past time, I just blurted out "Are you going to be my boyfriend or what?" And thankfully, he said "Yes".