Finding out about ex boyfreinds...

[Slack328]

My girlfriend and I have had a serious relationship for about 18 months now. When we first started dating I found out about a guys she was seeing on the side from a past relationship. It was tough, but she talked me into staying together and promised there would be no more of that. We never really had a real strong relationship after that, because I have always had it in the back of my mind that a tiger can't change it's stripes. Recently I was called away on business, and just found out that she is back with the same guy while I am out of town. I know I have to now leave this girl, but I found out about the guy in a very unorthodox way, almost invading her privacy because my curiosity was overwelming. The problem is I don't know how to break it off with this girl without revealing how I found out. I am also to angry to break it off like it was my fault, but her first question will definatly be, How did you know? any help?

[Colls]

Why not let her kno that u caught her? Make her feel even worse that she wasnt good enought to hide the fact that she was sheating on you. I mean dont try to make this fall back on you, and make it seem like it was ur fault. It was HER fault, and she should know that. Tell her u caught her...dont lie it will only make u feel worse later on. Tell the truth and it will come so much easier and make u deal with the breakup easier also. Good Luck.

 

Once a cheater always a cheater!

 

~Colleen~

[musicchicus]

You could try catching her in a lie...and get the truth out of her that way. If she's too sly for that...just confront her. When she asks how you knew, tell her, "I didn't. I just suspected. But you just verified it for me..."

[Sup2]

If you're up front with her about it (have the proof nearby), you should know what you want before you confront her. There are very good chances that, if you confront her & she stays with you, she really will stay with you faithfully from here on. She has to internalize that you'd really leave this time though. A good friend of mine went through this exact same thing about 7 years ago... and things turned out well.

[SweetTartz]

So basically you both did a no no - you invaded her privacy and she cheated. Two wrongs don't make a right...but I guess the ends justify the means.

 

I don't think you need to let her know how you found out. And I don't necessarily think you need to let her know why you need to leave. I guess what I'm saying is - be direct, just not 100% opened. "Hey, this isn't working for me anymore. I don't trust you. This could never work out between us."

 

Good luck.