Do guys like being chatted up by girls?

[Karibo]

There's this guy I have had my eye on for 2 years! (I only see him quite rarely so I haven't been obsessing from afar on a daily basis or anything!)

 

He works at a local bar and I think he is attracted to me because he always smiles at me and looks at me when he walks past etc etc. We have never said anything to each other except 'Hi', 'thanks' and 'bye'!!! But I honestly think he likes me.

 

Anyway, I would like to try and chat to him more because he seems really nice. He is usually working though so it's kinda dificult.

 

The only thing is I just went on a date with one of his housemates (I found out later they lived together!!!) and this date didn't really work out. However, I did happen to find out that this guy I like is single.

 

Do guys like being chatted up by girls? Or does that just make them flattered but wanting a girl who they will chat up first?

 

What would I say to him?

 

Thanks

[Invicta]

I think the stigma that the man is supposed to aproach the woman is just another relic remaining from the 1950's. It's perfectly fine for you to chat him up. If you are concerned he will think you are too forward then just tell him exactly what you posted. You've seen him around now and again and always wanted to meet him, and jumped at the opportuinity when you found out he was single. Best of luck to you.

[keefy1972]

I think what you need to do is to give him the OBVIOUS signs that you're into him and then let him pursue you. He will respect you more that way.

 

Obvious signs are...let him "catch" you checking him out, just be really flirtatious but don't try to "seal the deal", let him know it's safe for him to try and do that.

[keefy1972]

Invicta, I think by just saying she always wanted to meet him, or something to that extent, would be like saying "Wow, I worship you...you can feel free to treat me like crap and it's all good". Not the message I would want to send...or receive.

 

Maybe I am old fashioned, but I've always found that when women initiated and pursued a relationship with me, without giving me the chance to be the "hunter", it left me feeling a lot less fulfilled and not have as much respect for the woman. I guess every guy is different, but I've learned that I get more enjoyment from being the pursuer and not the pursued.

[Invicta]

I understand what you mean Keef but she said they've been doing the smiling at eachother thing for quite a while now. They may be passed the flirty lets avoid being direct phase. If the dude was interested in being the hunter he would already have made his move. The guy is either shy or gay, so I say there's no reason for Karibo to spend any more time wondering.

[keefy1972]

This is true Invicta, but you know how us guys could miss "the signs" if it hit us in the back of the head. Maybe he thinks she smiles at everyone? Has she done enough to make it obvious she digs him? It's funny how much the fear of rejection can keep a man from making a move.

[Scout]

People that work in restaurants and bars generally are friendly to the clientele. I'd be hesitant to use his smiling and saying hi as your primary reasons that he's interested in you.

 

So, your next step should be to try and engage him in conversation, but if he's busy at his workplace, that might not be easy either.

[MrMilk]

So, your next step should be to try and engage him in conversation, but if he's busy at his workplace, that might not be easy either.

 

I agree. I don't think you've got enough evidence that he likes you. I mean, to be fair, neither of you could say you really like each other, because you've never really talked to each other. At best, you'd have a physical attraction to each other.

 

But that doesn't mean he doesn't like you. And there's really only one way to find out - that's to talk to him. You might have to take it slowly because he is working, but all it takes is a friendly smile and a bit of small talk, and you never know where it'll end up...

 

Good luck!

[JonnyG]

*ahem*

 

 

 

Thread I started a while back. Dont see many guys saying "no" to it.