We've broken up, where do i live now?

[2900]

So me and my bf of 6 years broke up a few days ago. i'm a complete wreck. you'd think i was bipolar. yeah, but we live to gether and we put in our 30 days on monday. so my question is should i live alone or get a roommate? i've never liked having to live w/another person, but i'm afraid to live by myself b/c i'm afraid of feeling lonely. i only have a handful of friends and they all have their owns lives to focus on. i feel like if i live alone i'll be consumed w/lonliness.

 

Also is the whole NC thing completely necessary? Yes of course i want to heal i can't stand this feeling that i have, but we were friends before we got together and we are in the same social circle. he agreed he wants us to be good friends still and hang out and stuff.

[melrich]

Can you afford to live alone? Sharing might take your mind off things a bit. You could probably make a case for both.

 

If it was an option, the best thing would be to move in somewhere temporary for a while, till you get yourself back on your feet, buy some breathing space. Are your parents an option. Other family?

[2900]

i can afford to live alone but i wouldn't have much money for anything other than living expenses. sigh..and no, no family to go to. my mom remarried and idiot so i can't go there. i really wish there was family that i could stay w/for a while.

[itsallgrand]

How about staying with a friend for a while? So you can decide what to do.

 

IMO, NC is important. Have you ever lived alone before?

 

If you choose to live alone right away, it might become very tempting to get back in contact with the ex. You would need to have a 'safety plan' in place: full schedule, keeping busy so you don't get too lonely or pine over the ex.

Suddenly, he'll be coming 'round to your place to pick you up. Then that turns into hanging out. Next thing you know he's staying the night.

 

On the other hand, living alone can be an extremely liberating experience. You can do whatever you please.

 

With roomates, you'd have some buffer and it would be a situation you are familiar with.

[emtay_1]

if i was in your situation i'd definatey look for somewhere to share.

 

remember your not comitting long term but if you look around at a few sharing places you can get an idea of how people live and you just know if your going to get on with someone.

 

i've just moved to dubai with bf and we have always had our own house in england. its alot more expensive here so we have to share with one other girl. i never went to college/uni so have not shared with anyone except bf before. i love it though, when we both end up being in we open a bottle of wine and put the world to rights. also she has a circle of friends i never would have met and i've been out with them a few times.

 

it will def take your mind off the break up and you may meet some new people.

 

also it's nice to know your not in alone 7 nights a week should all your other friends be busy.

 

good luck

 

i know how awful it is i split up with my first boyf of 4 years 3 years ago and cried for weeks. we stayed friends but drifted apart, it gets easier with time.