still havent improved it seems....

[ApC]

many years ago...i was the kid who would sit by himself, who would just nod his head or say "i dunno" when the teacher asked me a question. Its now a few years later, and im living a very simliar life. My answers stay short, I have a few good friends, and a few others whom i talk to in school only. Im seen by others as a the "strong silent type"....which isnt bad, but that is not who i am. There are a few people who im myself around...where I have a smile on my face and can make jokes and be the life of the party, but as soon as someone else comes around or im in a different setting, my other half comes back. I get anxious, i mumble to the point where the person has no damn clue what the hell i said, and i barely say a word unless spoken to. Ive been trying to make new friends and get myself out there. Last week i met this girl from my school, we talked online for a few days...but then when i actually got a chance to talk to her in the hall, i froze. I managed to get out a few words out eventually as we were walking and then just went to my locker. Today a similar thing happened...a friend who i havent spoken to in a few months invited me out to the park to hang out for a bit...i got there, and the same thing happened...i froze. she did most of the talking and all i could do was make a few one word comments....eventually it started to rain so that saved my * * *. I dont know what to do anymore, i really want to get over this....im just so sick of walking down the hall, hoping that someone wont call my name, or that the teacher wont ask me a question infront of the class...hell, even walking on a bus makes me nervous at times....if anyone has any stories or advice that helped them get over being shy...please tell me....please. ....sorry for making this long.

[Alabama]

I was very shy at one point, and still am to a certain degree. You will never completely get over your shyness, but the way I improved it was just kept trying to talk to people. Many time I would think negative thoughts and this would ruin my concentration. Just keep trying. As you stated you are yourself in certain scenarios, what makes you act like yourself then? Try to think of why and then apply that same idea to public situations. Don't worry if you get embarrassed, or think that you're an idiot of you speak too much, etc. This is all perfectly normal. It will take time to get over your shyness, but it's possible.

[Third Wheel]

From what you said, you seem like you've got a good personality, but you're a bit shy. I know this might sound weird, but try taking a speech class, or a public speaking class.

 

Well, I do have an example of a person I knew like this, but I can't really tell if they felt the same way as you do.

 

In a summer school, a recent immigrant girl from Korea joined the speech class I was in. She spoke perfect English (she had learned in Korea I suppose), but she was incredibly shy around non-Koreans. There was a group of two or three fellow Korean kids that could speak to her in her language, and she would talk to them almost non-stop, on the point of being rude to the teacher. But, whenever I tried to talk with her, she would hold her head down, and mutter two or three words, kind of like you said you acted in the hall way. But, throughout the class, as time went on, she started to talk louder (the teacher told us to stay completely silent when she presented a speech, she whispered that quietly...) and began to talk more. I think being forced into speaking in English helped her out a lot in being comfortable with talking to others. Maybe it'll work for you.

 

Also, I'm personally an extroverted person, but I still feel ashamed and embarrassed of saying something stupid in the hall ways. I kind of blur words sometimes because I'm nervous talking to others, or mutter, so I kind of try practicing with strangers. Like, I try making small talk to strangers that most likely I'll never meet again. Just say good morning while walking bye, and don't worry if they don't say anything back. Also, as stupid as this sounds, talk about the weather or something while waiting in line, or in an elevator. It really helped me to kind of start a conversation with people, maybe it'll help you.