Is it too late for me?

[Gamera25]

My last relationship didn't go too well. It was probably one of the most heartbreaking and stressful ordeals of my life. When it ended, I swore off the idea of dating and romance in general for a long time. It is two years later and I have not dated since. I would like to get back into 'the game' but I feel so out of touch. I have always been a really shy person and I like to consider myself a nice guy. Most women my age find both these qualities undesireable in a man (i'm 25). Most of my friends have become engaged or married by now. People are telling me that time is running out for me and that if I don't get my act together I will end up as an 'eternal bachelor'. The loneliness I feel sometimes is almost unbearable. How can I change things? Do you think it is possible for a person my age to start dating again after so long?

[Veronique]

Yes, it is possible for someone your age to start dating again! You are just starting life and most of those people who are telling you that time is running out will be divorced in 10 years. Take your time, when you find someone you are comfortable with you will find the courage to ask her out. The more mature you are when you find that right person the more likely that your marriage will last. (Some women find guys that are a little shy attractive.)

[nyc25m]

Hang in there... you will pull out of it. I had a bad breakup with a girl a few years back and didnt date for a while either, but then i woke up and realized that I was missing out on the fun. So I started meeting girls again.

 

Then again, maybe I'm the wrong person to be giving advice because I'm falling in love with my guy friend... a whole other confusing situation for myself.

[alwaysafraid]

Look at it this way you are only 25. I see that you are from the midwest. The mentatlity here is that if you aren't married or engaged by like 21 there is something wrong with you. I am originally from North Dakota and all of my friends are married and have like 2 kids. It used to get me down a lot like there was something wrong with me. I moved to a much larger less conservative area and I realize I am only 25 very young still trying to get my life in order before I bring someone else in. I heard somewhere that the national average for getting married is like 31 or something. Try not to let the midwest attitude get you down and just start dating, I don't think that it is ever to late for anyone all a matter of timing.

[cookies]

HI Gamera,

 

Being heartbroken oftentimes leads to the gateway of ppl taking long breaks from the dating scenes..and its not uncommon 4 u to feel this way. I am in my 30's and have remained single and cellibate for quite a number MORe years than you...for many reasons... afraid of being hurt, rejection, giving up on finding the "right" one...just to name a few reasons...

 

but in all actuality,...and deep within my heart i havent completely given up...

 

I felt out of touch for awhile, becuse i was out of touch...with myself, mainly because i allowed my sadness and lonilness to overcome the inner strength and gusto to get back out there an stand again on these same two feet that are capable of succeeding in a deserving relationship.

 

Those qualities that you possess, are definitely desirable...you've got the wrong idea about that...Not all women think and feel the same, but a nice and shy guy that is strong minded and balanced in his life is a good catch for any woman. HAving such self doubt puts u out of balance, because its the confidence of knowing that you do matter , and is a good catch for sum lucky woman sum day, is what will get u out of this mode of thinking. Start thinking positively in everything you do..and ull see what a difference u will make in drawing more attention from women of all walks in life...

 

The eternal bachelor/bachelorette mindset, hits all of us at times. But when u understand that timing is everything, you will be able to look at things differently. NOthing happens b4 its time, or it is destined to failure. Let things happen naturally and in its due time, but in the meantime...put forth ur best effore to draw out ur best inner and outter qualities so that you will attract the best possible mate you can ever dream of.

Dont live by what ppl tell you always..because i am also just a person that is telling u the opposite. Time is not running out...we birth life to our doubtful subconscious thoughts and they become a prominent part of reality. But what u should be thinking and planning on...is a beautiful future with the right person, thereforeeeeee in the right timiing, you will birth into exisense...its just a matter of time...

 

In the meantime, concentrate on your weakensses, turning them into strengths. Theres a wonderful lady that will compliment every aspect of ur being...just change things by preparing urself 4 her in the meantime. ..k? Feel it in ur heart that shes out there waiting on u...and this will bring a smile on ur face, and help u better deal with the loneliness and know that its best to wait 4 the BEST, versus settling 4 just anyone to temporarily bandage the lonely nights...

 

 

 

cookies

[Gamera25]

Thank you all for your input. Sorry it took so long to reply. Yes Alwaysafraid, I am from the Midwest. Wisconsin to be exact. My ethnicity is Puerto Rican and in many Puerto Rican families you are expected to find a woman and marry at a young age (most marry at 21 or even younger). Many family members are rather disappointed in me as I haven't had a girlfriend or even dated for a couple years. Male family members are always getting on my case because I don't have "machismo" (a macho, arrogant, womanizing attitude). lol

Anyways, thank you all again. Especially you, Cookies. Your words really hit home. I'd rather wait for the right lady than be with the wrong person just to make the hurt go away.