Love between two guy friends

[nyc25m]

I'm in love with my friend. I have such a yearning to hold this person in my arms and share our feelings. The situation is very awkward for me because we are both guys, but he is everything I like in a person. I've been sexually interested in both men and women for quite some time now, but I never even came close to considering a loving relationship with another guy-- until now. I've been friends with him for a few years and in the past year we have grown much closer than we've ever been. We always exchange our appreciation for one another and acknowledge eachother's good qualities, and definitely have said we love eachother (but only in a "friend" way). We get along so great and it's always happiness when we are together. It's at the point where I'm so frustrated that I cant tell him how I feel. Sometimes I think he's interested in men because of clues here and there, but I don't know for sure because he sometimes says things that clearly indicate that he's not interested in men (but is he just saying that because he's worried that i might think he likes guys??). It's killing me because I really want to share more with him but I am too afraid to be denied and mocked for being interested in a man in such a way. Also, it's so scary because I don't know how to deal with these feelings myself. How can I tell if he's interested to be more than friends? Are there any signs? I wish this were easier. Hopefully someone has some advice to help me to find out what's going through HIS mind...

[musicchicus]

Ooh, this is a hard one...

 

How to tell this man you might be interested in more, without jeapordizing the friendship if he is truly not interested.

 

Normally, I would say this is impossible. But it sounds to me like this man may actually be interested...

 

I guess you could throw the concept into discussion sometime...I don't suggest saying, "So, hey, guess what? I'm bi..." but sometime when your chatting bring the discussion around to being lesbians, gay, etc. Ask what he thinks about that lifestyle? Remember, he is a guy, so he may act all macho...take it with a grain of salt.

 

Then, suggest the whole bi-sexual thing. Maybe say, "Well, I like women and all, but...I don't know...it would be interesting. Don't you think? To try something new?" Something like that...

 

Just sort of feel him out. If he responds negatively or doesn't want to discuss it, you'll know and stop. But who knows, he might just be wondering what you think and just doesn't want to open up and lose you.

 

Good luck!

[secret_agent_man]

Yes, I guess I agree. I think you should bring it up without approaching it as "Hey, I want to be with you". I know if one of my friends said something that unexpected out of the blue, I'd probably be shocked. But I have a few close friends and I know that if one told me he was gay or bi I would just say, "hey, I'm not, but I won't hold it against you...".

 

Understand that he is already a close friend and that if he really feels like you're a close friend as well, he will accept you as long as you don't put him in a really awkward position. Just feel it out, and if he doesn't seem to be interested in men at all, you may want to back off as to not put him in an uncomfortable situation.

 

Good luck. True friends are there through it all!

 

S.A.M.

[blonde]

hey. you are best friends. he loves you. try not to scare him by rushing things, but even if he doesn't want to have a physical relationship with you, he will not mock you. good luck.