neva_black_n_white Posted April 18, 2006 Share Posted April 18, 2006 How much of me don't you like? How much of me do you despise? Take a minute or two with your answer And ill prepare for all these lies Don't forget to tell me that I'm perfect Your one and only girl It's a clumsy thing this love How I'm meant to be your world Don't forget to tell me how I make you smile How good I feel in your arms I begin to believe its true The bad boys have the charm Silly me I'm being naïve I thought you might call But instead ill hold onto the line - Crushing my back against the wall What was it you were telling me? How beautiful you thought I was? How long did that feeling last? Hmm a minute –now its passed What a stupid girl I was Momma told me you'd break my heart It's not as though you're far away Were like a mile apart So what was it you were saying? You like the way I think? You seem to comment on my body a lot This love is on the blink! Don't continue with these lies "You can't see me at the min" It's been two weeks over now Don't think your going to win So lets be honest with each other There's not much left to loose What is it to be? Truth or lies, you choose – So mr How much of me don't you like? How much of me do you despise? Take a minute or two with your answer And ill prepare for all these lies Link to comment
neva_black_n_white Posted April 18, 2006 Author Share Posted April 18, 2006 Thanks lol. short but sweet responce *chuckles* muchly appreciated. Link to comment
TheLegend Posted April 18, 2006 Share Posted April 18, 2006 yeah I love it too really, nice. I guess I love nice poems Link to comment
AnotherBrokenDoll Posted April 19, 2006 Share Posted April 19, 2006 Great job! I can feel what your saying from here! Thanks for sharing another great poem! Link to comment
neva_black_n_white Posted April 19, 2006 Author Share Posted April 19, 2006 Thanks guys. I didnt think id get alot of responce from this one.. shows how you can get thank wrong. I appreciate all your responces... im surprised there wasnt a negative one slipped in there.. i do likes constructive criticism *smiles* anyway, back to reading your pieces hehe.. thanks again, neva x Link to comment
StrangeFellow Posted April 24, 2006 Share Posted April 24, 2006 Yet another good piece Neva, fortunatly or not I do have a bit of criticism: find the natural break between the stanzas, they're there, just not shown. A little bit of structure makes poetry so much easier and pleasant to read in my humblest opinion. I'll await the next of your works. Regards, Strange Link to comment
neva_black_n_white Posted April 24, 2006 Author Share Posted April 24, 2006 smiles* thanks, i know exactly what you mean. i used to write like that. i guess its because i have a burst of energy and dont tend to adapt.. ill make it pretty round the edges next time *proper smiles* thanks for the good and the bad, i kind of like lil prompts. neva smiles* thanks. Link to comment
darkness1235 Posted April 26, 2006 Share Posted April 26, 2006 I agree it is a very good poem... I liked it! Link to comment
neva_black_n_white Posted April 26, 2006 Author Share Posted April 26, 2006 thanks darkness1235. i really appreciate that.. smiles.. gosh, lots of responces, feel so spesh haha. thanks agains, neva Link to comment
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