I wish that I could be brave!!!

[butterflycloud]

I have been seeing the ex after a year of divorce. I had thought that we were going to be ok that things could change- sometimes he is nice to be around but at other times I see glimpses of the his 'old ' self. The problem is that more and more the old habits seem to be returning.

 

I do love him but I dont want to be with the 'old' him and he seems to think that he will be moving back soon. He keeps on pressurising me to make a final decision as to wther I want him back or not and to be honest sometimes I want him back and at other times I dont.

 

He was very nice to me in the beginning but the more time we have spent together the more he has resorted to his old ways.

 

We have a son together and that is why I thought that I should give the 'leopard a chance to change its spots'. But now I find myself in a HUGE predicament!!! How do I tell him that I love him but I just dont want to be with him anymore.

 

This is really hard for me to do because I fear the lonliness but I think that I fear the confrontation most. I basically need a helping hand to support me while I do this. It will break my heart but what can I do if the leopard has not changed his spots????

[ut_longhorn]

butterfly,

 

i dont know what the circumstances of your break up were, but i don't think he should make you feel pressured to get back with him. what's the rush? tell him, that you'll make a decision in ur own time and that you want him to back off some. if he can't, then he doesn't respect your wishes. and if he doesn't respect you now, what makes you think he will when ur back together.

 

take your time...feel him out. i don't see any rush to get back with him. and do not let him pressure you into anything.

[butterflycloud]

Thanks for the reply!

 

I agree with you that I shouldnt let him pressurise me but he keeps on manipulating me by saying that I am stalling for time.

 

Maybe I am stalling but Im doing it for a good reason- I want to know that we will work for sure before he moves back in!

[ut_longhorn]

you should also be asking yourself why you really want to be with this man. do you really love him with your soul...or is it becuase you are lonely and missing the good times. ask yourself.