frustration. the time we spend together is amazing however when we are not together..

[Massari]

when we are not together it seems its one sided. like I am always the one that text her I miss you.. she does say she loves me but only when I say it to her. I know it may sound shallow but why am I the only one who says it first, its like she is waiting for me to say it every time. I know she told me about her past and that her relationships has been rough and she is afraid of commitment but then we are exclusive so isn't that itself a commitment of some sort? Things started off very strong in our relationship.. deep feelings and yeah I never felt like this about anyone before…she is my first serious G/F. she told me also that she has never felt like this before. I am so confused at times I feel she does really love me and then when she is stressed it seems like I can't do Sh** to help her get over it. She has exams now and she is stressing a lot over it. Whenever I can, I try to go to take her out a little so she can relax. She lives a little far from me a bout 35km away but that's ok I don't mind that. at times I feel like she doesn't even care if I message her and say that I miss you a lot. She does message me sometimes.. the last time was 3 days ago.. for me the last time I messaged her was an hour ago. It is really frustrating knowing how much I care about her and doubting that she cares as much about me. She does say that its mutual. Its eating me… what can I do to ease this.? Is that normal in a relationship? To feel like that?

 

thank you all

[Scotcha]

Well, I don't have much advice to offer but I can say I am in the same situation as you are with my boyfriend. I used to stress about it too and it caused some insecurities. Okay, a lot of insecurities.

 

You have two choices. Either accept the way she is and the way she shows her love or find someone who shows it differently.

 

For me leaving him would have been too painful. And then... I stopped expecting him to show his love for me in the same way I showed mine for him. That's when I began noticing all the little things he does do.

 

You know your girlfriend loves you and you're not left wondering. Notice the ways that she lets you know this.

[amtjrtcet]

You sound just like I did in my last relationship. It is very frustrating to be the one to always initiate communication and affection. It leaves you feeling empty, and constantly wondering where you stand. I don't really know what to tell you to do being you are the man. I'd tell a woman in your position to back off for a while, let him call you. I guess you could try the same thing.

 

I will honestly tell you, there is almost nothing more unattractive to a woman then an insecure, needy man. It drives women away. Probably just like the same type of woman drives men away. Good luck.

[Massari]

Thank you

maybe I feel like this because we do talk to each other everyday. Either on MSN or on the phone. Maybe I should cut this much communication? We have been together for 5 weeks now and we talk to each other everyday. Should I cut the talking? I mean I do miss her a lot when we are not talking so that's why I go on MSN and talk to her. But if that would make things better for me.. I'll do it. I really do not know what to do at this point and like "Scotcha" said just accept the way she is. I am inexperienced when it comes to relationships and this is my first one. There is anxiety and rush of feelings once in a while.. so I really don't know how to handle it and most of all how to handle myself. Ppl say as a guy I am very emotional and that always hurt me, when I get attatched to someone its hard for me to let go

[jchan]

i'd be careful if i were you. because by making yourself so readily available will turn her off. when you constantly have to say " i love you" so readily, and while she doesn't do so, is a warning sign.

 

i suggest you should create some mystery. make yourself desireable. remember supply and demand. scarcity is the key here.

 

i know how you feel. i'm one of those attachable types of people too. but just remember, don't chase her away.

 

good luck man

[thesupremeshiningdiva]

I am in the same situation as you I use to get so frustrated and annoyed with him not replying so I use to send him more texts like whats up? or your quiet! But then my friends told me to stop being the one to contact him first so I have done and its worked great lol he has started to contact me more now and I couldn't be happier

[Scotcha]

Hmm.. When I first replied to you I assumed that you had been with her for a lot longer than 5 weeks. It's still early in your relationship and so at this point it might just be a bit too soon for her to open up.

 

When I said that you could just simply accept the way she is I didn't mean to accept someone who doesn't make any effort at all. To me that is selfish.

 

I think at this point in time you might want to back off a little bit and let her come to you.

[AntiLove_SuperStar]

No dont cut talking. BF and I have been together 6 months and we talk all the time, you cannot build a r/ship unless you keep talking.

 

Chances are, if you have some unsure/bad feelings, its coming accross to your GF, so I know its hard but a straight-out talk is probably in order. Tell her what youve told us here.

 

Of course you have only been together 5 weeks. You could try waiting until 2 months or so have gone by and then see whats developed.

[Massari]

No dont cut talking. BF and I have been together 6 months and we talk all the time, you cannot build a r/ship unless you keep talking.

 

Chances are, if you have some unsure/bad feelings, its coming accross to your GF, so I know its hard but a straight-out talk is probably in order. Tell her what youve told us here.

 

Of course you have only been together 5 weeks. You could try waiting until 2 months or so have gone by and then see whats developed.

 

a week ago when I told her the first time that I love you I said I don't want to rush you and make you to say it to me just because I said it to you. She said that was exactly what was in her mind .. and that she didn't want to rush me either. we are always thinking alike. I was thinking maybe she thinks that I already know that she loves me and so there is no need to say it and now she can kinda calm down and live her own life knowing that she has me?? this possible. the reassurence that she has me ..so far we have a very steady relationship no arguments no fights nothing and just enjoy eachother's company when we are around. it is confusing as hell

[Momene]

Usually, it's girls who claim that blokes don't contact them. Some people have this need to communicate all the time but others find it a turn-off. We're all different and perhaps after a few weeks, once a day will be enough. Some people also keep themselves busy when they're long distance, so they don't spend all their time pining.

[Massari]

this feeling comes back and goes away.. should I tell her that is how I feel? I feel like vomiting sometimes. The though that the spark in the beginning, that feeling we had in the beginning for each other is fading, is killing me and making me sick to stomach. I love her so much that sometimes like now when I think she might not love me back the way I love her I start to cry inside. I usually feel like this until I see her the next time. I always make time to see her to make sure I see her at least 2 times a week . I care about her too much to see that what we have might end. When we are together she is great with me, always around me, makes me feel real proud that I have her, and cherish her everyday. When she is not around me or when we talk on MSN it seems very cold sometimes as though I am the only one who's trying to always get a hold of her. This might have something to do with my past experiences with women also. They have told me that yeah I like you and then out of nowhere they hit you back on your face and break your heart. Yes I am hearbroken and just dun wanna go through that again with her.