Sorry Excuse for a Man

[_Moonstruck_]

Sometimes a - holes, sometimes stoners, drinkers and lowlifes, sometimes even swingers for god's sake! These are the guys that my friend is choosing to date and I don't have the heart to tell her she shouldn't. One of them was so rude to me and others that I didn't understand how she could date him, he was just so horrible. My friend told me that he had had a tough life though and it's not his fault he's such a shmuck but I'd have to disagree, I've known several people how have had crap they're whole life and they are extrememely nice. This guy is just a plain jerk.

 

It doesn't stop there though. Before him was this other guy who was constanly with other girls, RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY FRIEND! She didn't even DO anything!! What the hell?! And he wasn't just talking to these girls, he was ALL OVER them. No lie. Is she denying it? Does she just feel she needs to be loved? Is that the cause for all this? Even when we go watch a movie or something she always likes the guy who acts like a complete jerk.

 

If someone could give me some advice on this dilemma please do. I just feel so scared that if I tell her the guys she's choosing are wrong then she'll be angry at me forever.....Oh and if you read this and need a little more detail about the guys feel free to ask, I really haven't explained everything there is to explain about these sorry excuses for men...

[Mrocza]

I think you should sit her down and tell her.

 

Yes, she will be angry.

 

But don't attack her, don't treat her like she is stupid, even if she is making stupid choices. Sit her down and tell her how you see it and how you feel about it and what you think she deserves.

 

Tell her theres are tons of guys out there who treat women good.

Tell her it's ok to set some standards.

 

Buy her a self-help dating book if need be. Or even get her to go to counselling- there is obviously something wrong with her outlook if she keeps going back to these guys.

 

Be a friend about it though- don't argue, but don't screw off just because she gets angry. Be firm but let her know you care.

[Boricua7]

I really think she needs a slap of reality.

 

It seems like she may have a low self-esteem or self-worth to allow herself to be treated in such horrible ways by men.

 

Why don't you sit her down and talk to her? She may get mad at you but it sounds like you're going to have to be a wee bit harsh to get through to her. Don't be mean but do tell her the truth, straight up.

[CamGuy]

Yea, your friend is a fool. Just be upfront with her.

[yeawutever]

There are three possibilities why your friend seems to be liking that loser: 1) She has very low self-esteem, maybe does not even have a spine, 2) She's been abused before or 3) Unsolved issues.

You should be upright about this, if she doesn't listen, you can then say "Ok, do as you want to, but at the end it's your desicion who you wanna chose and it'll be your fault once you realize you were with a total jerk"

[robowarrior]

Personally i think you should advice her to date 'nice' guys, tell her that these guys aren't cool, for thier hurtfull actions and acting in the way they do. Say that you don't mind her dating, but she'd do good by uppering her standards in how guys treat and behave towards her.

[macdomat]

Seriously, I agree with these guys and gals. This girl should NOT be hanging around with all these tools. Sit her down, and tell her, right up front, that you have a problem with how she lets these guys treat her. Keep in mind that she might not see anything wrong with what she's doing - you have to assure her that you, as her friend, only have her best interests at heart.