enigmaz_Barbie Posted April 9, 2006 Share Posted April 9, 2006 Hey everyone! Im not feeling so good, I went out clubbing last night and I got picked up so many times, people would stop me and tell me i was beautiful or sexy, guys tried to dance with me, they would hit on me and some guy grabed my a** so I hit him back really hard! I usually like being stopped and hearing im beautifl, it kinda gives me a confidence boost, but last night I relised how badly I want to be in a real serious relationship. I saw this guy I like (sorta) and he just looked at me like "what the hell are you doing here" he smiled at me but it was forced he didnt even try to say hi to me! This was the guy who asked me to be his gf then took it back becasue he didnt want to commit. Well before I left I saw him checking me out, he was looking heaps. I feel so stupid for thinking I could have a relationship with him. I have always been the type of girl who didnt need or want a man to be with...or anyone at all! But lately Ive felt so lonely, I have heaps of friends I go out with but its always the same, Ive done everything I want to do and now I want to find a person to have a real relationship but its so hard! All the people I hang out with are clubbers and party people and I dont think its a great idea to meet people form clubs (ive met two and they were both sleazly!), I dont know what to do! Im so jealous of my friends who have their bfs whom they been with for 2-3 years! Im scared im going to be alone forever! Link to comment
Caldus Posted April 9, 2006 Share Posted April 9, 2006 I agree. Clubs are a bad place to meet people if you're looking for a relationship. Then again, I would suggest not looking for a relationship in the first place. Besides, you don't want to get attached to someone. That will happen if you get into a relationship right now because 'you don't want to be alone anymore'. Being too attached to a person is unhealthy in my opinion. You need to be able to enjoy life without being in a relationship. Doesn't mean you won't ever be in a relationship at all. But life is much easier when you can still enjoy it alone too. Ironically enough, you can be the most lonely person even when surrounded by so many friends. You seem to have noticed this. That should tell you that sometimes even being with friends cannot alleviate your feelings of loneliness. So you're left with yourself in these cases. Link to comment
enigmaz_Barbie Posted April 9, 2006 Author Share Posted April 9, 2006 Doesn't mean you won't ever be in a relationship at all It feels like I wont be in a proper relationship without any games at all! Ive had relationships in the past and all failed because the guy either led me on, was fake or abused me. Ive never had a civil relationship! Ironically enough, you can be the most lonely person even when surrounded by so many friends. You seem to have noticed this. That should tell you that sometimes even being with friends cannot alleviate your feelings of loneliness. I agree with you! Link to comment
SeaBisquit Posted April 9, 2006 Share Posted April 9, 2006 i got into relationship with 2 guys that i had met at a club. i was young and dumb. learned a valuble lesson. i could go back to that same club ten years later and both of them idiots would be there. losers! Link to comment
behappy Posted April 9, 2006 Share Posted April 9, 2006 Sweety- hold up! Are u only 19 years of age? I am 30 and I am not married still and I have issues with my man- see my post - this is the time that u should be enjoying your life. What part of the world are u from? I am from Sydney. Gosh I wish I could live those young days! I too use to go clubbing and every male use to perve on me and I to met the sleazy guys that just wanted one thing. I am 30 and believe me I still find young men are attracted to me - as I dont look my age and I still get told I am hot- and it makes me blush but I know what u mean - u reach a stage where u get turned off! I am so glad that u have realised at your age! It took me awhile~ ABOUT WHEN I WAS 24!!!! You wont be alone forever! U sound like a beautiful girl who will meet someone that respects u and gives u the credit that you deserve. Never think for one moment that u are not worthy of love. U are . And I promise that you will probably go through a few serious relationships before u settle down and get married...or maybe u will find the right one straight off. I dont know.... but in the meantime stop feeling lonely. If you want to met gentleman join a dating agency. Or go online to dating websites- but even still u have to watch this- I find that dating agencies are more geniune thought as the men are paying for a service.... good luck sweety! Link to comment
SeaBisquit Posted April 9, 2006 Share Posted April 9, 2006 seriously tho aren't most guys that hang out at clubs just looking for one thing? i think you are looking to find a nice guy in all the wrong places. Link to comment
enigmaz_Barbie Posted April 9, 2006 Author Share Posted April 9, 2006 Omgosh behappy, your goning to make me cry! Your so nice!! Im from sydney too actually ... I know I should be living my life and having fun but ive done it all, Im starting to take life seriously, Im working and studing, Im putting money away for a house deposit (hopefully I can get a house before im 21) I really want to marry young too, but thats porbably going to be just a dream. but who knows what can happen... Link to comment
enigmaz_Barbie Posted April 9, 2006 Author Share Posted April 9, 2006 yess! all guys who go clubbing think they can find some easy girl who will do what they want her too! PLEASEEEEEE! They all sleazy anyway! The two guys I tried to have a realtionship with knew I wasnt going to sleep with them so they made up crumey excuses or just left high and dry! I was watching the news the other day and apparently they did some survey thing and found out that there is a guy drought in sydney and other city places! Link to comment
behappy Posted April 9, 2006 Share Posted April 9, 2006 hi sweety- thats ok- its all true- basically i think that u are very mature for your age and so u are looking for more in life- dont u realise that someone with your maturity will be the winner in this lifetime? I met my man online - website was link removed ALSO have u tried speed dating? i did and i met some wonderful guys! Link to comment
enigmaz_Barbie Posted April 9, 2006 Author Share Posted April 9, 2006 Thnaks behappy! I'l check it out Link to comment
Caldus Posted April 9, 2006 Share Posted April 9, 2006 seriously tho aren't most guys that hang out at clubs just looking for one thing? Uh ... yeah, lol. But seriously, you're really young. You shouldn't be so worried about stuff like marriage, serious relationships, etc. But hey, whatever floats your boat I guess. Link to comment
behappy Posted April 9, 2006 Share Posted April 9, 2006 if you want more info on it i will post a personal reply! Link to comment
behappy Posted April 9, 2006 Share Posted April 9, 2006 heres the link- its called fast impressions- guys there are seeking friendship/relationship- i even went on my own! link removed Link to comment
behappy Posted April 9, 2006 Share Posted April 9, 2006 See private message i sent- if you have any questions on it ask me and i will reply back Link to comment
Momene Posted April 9, 2006 Share Posted April 9, 2006 No, some blokes prefer to make love to a person, rather than just sh@g a nice looking body and I've always been like that, not just because I'm ancient. Maybe clubs do attract the "wrong" sort or perhaps there's some there who are hoping to meet that special person, too. I've always said that wherever you are, there's always a chance that someone will be attracted to you and vice-versa. You just need to be open. It could be the bloke in the next train seat, a bloke on the Relationship board (not me!) or even the guy who comes to unblock your sink. I wonder also, how many of your friends with medium term relationships really are happy. They could just feel they're killing time while waiting to buy a house or flat. They could also be bored but are afraid of being alone if they split. Good luck. Link to comment
behappy Posted April 22, 2006 Share Posted April 22, 2006 any news yet? have u tried speed dating really interested to find out!!! Link to comment
GH2001 Posted April 22, 2006 Share Posted April 22, 2006 It is easy for elder people, I am in my 40's, to say "You are still young" What is not said is that in reality we are all still young and need love for our entire lives. I don't feel that much different than I did when I was 18. However, getting tied down can eliminate the fun if it is not the right person. I am struggling with that right now. That happens to a lot of people. I also understand the loneliness you feel. It is important to realize that at 19, at 29, and at 39 you will still be developing relationship skills and maturing. The process NEVER stops. I learned this in my 30's when it was too late and I had been married for about 4 years. I learned just recently that the loneliness you are feeling might be eased by learning to love yourself first. This is done by investing in yourself. Discover the person that you are and the path you will take in life. Take great joy in traveling, walking, reading and basically experiencing the joys of life. Go to museums, art galleries, learn what life has to offer before you get real serious with someone. That way, you will have something real to share with your life's love beyond the club experience. Romance and passion are fleeting, lasting only about 3 years after you are married. Once the passion is gone, you will need to love the other person's mind and experience. You will need to be a complete dynamic person that can stimulate the mind of the man you marry. Physical attraction is important, but there needs to be something in the package. Examine what motivates your friends and family. Turn outward. Seek out the meaning of life. READ extensively about LOVE, the chemistry of love, what it does to you mentally AND physically above the neck line BEFORE you fall in love. It is probably the most misunderstood subject for all ages. Unfortunately it is mysterious because we are educated about most everything in life except that which can trip us up for the rest of our lives, falling in love, being in love, marriage, and having children. Education is vitally important. I wish I had read Helen Fisher's book ""The Anatomy of Love, a natural history of Monogamy, Adultery, and Divorce" before getting into a serious relationship. It explains the physical process that goes on in the brain when you fall in love and when you settle down into a loving state. There is a big difference even in the brain chemistry between Attraction and Attachment. I promise you will find some answers there that are surprising. In Summary... 1) Discover who you are and determine at what point you are a complete person. 2) Don't look for love. It will find you as you expereince life. 3) Marry not someone that you feel you can live with, Marry someone you believe you cannot live without. I hope this helps and does not sound like it came from an old codger. Link to comment
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