Will she end up 'Rebound Girl'?

[mjones.uk]

Search for my previous posts, and you'll see how devastated I was when my girlfriend of 8 years suddenly left me 3 days before Xmas.

 

As a quick recap, I loved her so much, didn't realise things weren't right (hands up those who have been there!) and was completely ruined when she left.

 

I've only heard from her once since then, a quick email to tell me she'd passed her degree and that she was doing ok.

 

So its been 7 months and I still often think about her and miss her, and of course I still love her, but I've 99% accepted that it really is over and I've got to move on.

 

So I've actually met this really nice girl, been on a few dates and we've really clicked, get on really well. We've spoke about exe's and she knows how I still feel about mine, I just couldn't lie and say i was totally over her. So now she's scared that if we start to get a bit more serious, she'll end up as 'rebound girl' and my ex is going to come back for me.

 

Well, I really don't know what to do! I don't know how I'd feel if my ex did come back into my life, and of course I wouldn't want to hurt this girl. But at the same time I'm quite convinced she's gone for good, and I don't want to risk losing this new girl for something that is more than likely never going to come true.

 

Should I be dating if I still love my ex? I know we never stop loving someone who we've really shared that feeling with, but I don't just want to sit around forever waiting to 'get over her' - perhaps this would be the best way of doing it??

 

Any advice, experience etc appreciated guys, thanks.

[secret_agent_man]

You're right, this probably is the best way of getting over her. Just make a choice to let yourself love her, and you'll probably find out you get over your ex when you begin to love someone else. The reason it's so hard to get over someone when you know they're gone is because it's hard to believe that you'll ever feel that way again. Just let yourself fall in love again, and you'll see it's not as hard as it seemed. Just tell her where you stand, keep up with the honesty and let yourself go with the flow!

 

S.A.M.

[Always Hopeful]

I've been in a similar situation as yours, although I did not date my "special someone" for as long as you have. That being said, it's my opinion to move on and see what this new girl has to offer you. I heard from someone that you shouldn't expect love from someone or someplace that is incapable of giving you love. It's much better to seek out those who give love willingly and openly. In this screwed up world, I think it really is a special thing when someone is willing to take a chance and try to make you feel good. Not to give this new girl too much credit and your ex not enough credit, but I think you do need to move on.

 

I made the mistake of thinking that my ex was capable of giving me what I needed in life. She wasn't that person. In fact, I found out that she never was that person. So our attempts to make something work just didn't gel when the "first" breakup occurred (yes, there can be multiple breakups in this situation). Each subsequent breakup ended worse than the previous one. Consequently, our end came to a rather messy conclusion. Now she is leaving for another position overseas, and I will probably never see her. I will always be left with an empty feeling because of her, but it's not a hole that I think will never be filled. It's like a bullet wound that has healed, it's still there, but it doesn't hurt anymore. It's just a reminder of what can happen in life. It's something that makes you wiser.

 

Actually I think she will be in your neck of the woods...RUN AWAY LIKE SHE'S THE PLAGUE WHEN YOU MEET HER...YOU KNOW IT'S HER WHEN YOU ARE INSTANTLY CHARMED BY HER...ISN'T IT ALWAYS THE CASE THAT THE CHARMING ONES ARE THE DANGEROUS ONES!!!!

[mjones.uk]

Thanks for that guys, helped alot.

 

Cheers.

[bzborow1]

If you're not over your ex, tell the girl you've seen a couple times the truth. I don't recommend risking another girls feelings because you want to keep your options open, but at least by telling her it's her choice whether or not she wants to risk it. One thing you haven't thought of is that, what if you end up really liking this new girl only to see her walk out of your life because you were hung up on an ex??? That would be a real shame.