Asking someone out from the gym?

[thefireisoutanyway]

Hello all,

 

The title basically says it all. Last week, I was at the gym, and I noticed this cute girl working out. At first I thought she was my ex, but I soon realized that complete stranger. And that was that.

 

I saw her again today. And today, it was kind of strange. I had absolutely no intention of following her around the gym. But it was kind of like everywhere I went, she was already there doing something. We even got out of the locker room at the same time, and we returned our lockroom keys at the same time. When we were leaving, she walked ahead of me. Once outside, we just went our separate ways. The only interaction the two of us had were some eye contacts during the workout, and her opening the door and holding it for me and me thanking her.

 

I am definitely attracted to this girl. The whole time at the gym, I was debating whether I should say something her. Then, I decided it'd be better not to interrupt her workout and speak to her once she finished up or something. Then, when I got the opportunity, I just didn't have the cajones to go for it.

 

I'm kind of worried now that she thinks I'm some sort of a creepy stalker.

 

Anyone have any advice for me? Is it just plain rude to strike a conversation to a total stranger when they are in the middle of a workout? Is it even worse to hit on them?

[Consumed]

You took the words right out of my mouth! I'm in exactly the same situation, I don't know her name, to me she is just 'gym girl', it's what I tell my family and friends! I'm in the same rut as you, I convinced and promised myself that the next time I saw her, I was going to ask her out for a coffee. That was 2 weeks ago! I've been most days since, she's never there. Always the same time, I don't think my body can take much more!!!

 

You've got to take the chance. The worst that can happen is she says no. Big deal, okay it may be a little embarrassing, you may lose a little face, but jesus in the scheme of things it's certainly a risk to take on the chance she may well say yes!

 

We've just got to go for it big man....no fear....you're the daddy, tell yourself that!

 

Oh yeah, in answer to your question, perhaps wait until she has finished her exercise (if it's a treadmill, cross trainer or something you may be in for a wait....more time to phsyche yourself up!). But don't let the opportunity go, I may well have done that and I'm ruing the fact!

[Mrocza]

First off...does she resemble your ex and is that why you're interested? Because if things work out, you're going to have to explain the resemblance and she won't like it one bit.

 

I think if you see each other that often, you should STRIKE UP A CONVERSATION!! I mean you're practically tripping over each other.

 

The thing is, if you keep bumping into each other and just watching her from afar, chances are she will probably, evnetually, think you're a creepy stalker. Talk to her. She's just a girl.

 

I wouldn't suggest going to strike up a convo when she's sweating up a storm, but if she's jogging lightly on a treadmill, use the one next to her and say hey, if she's doing weights, talk to her. Even ask her for advice/imput...it could be a cute pick up line.

[thefireisoutanyway]

To Consumed:

 

Wow, good to know that there are people out there in similiar situation as me. Yeah, I know I got nothing to lose, but stilll. I'm one of those shy-guys who can never seem to strike a conversation. Hopefully, I didn't blow my chance away. =) I wish you luck.

 

To fairie16:

 

It's true that I noticed her in the first place due to her resemblence to my ex. But I don't think I'm attracted to her b/c she looks like her. Rather, I feel like I'm attracted to women who look like that, and my ex just happened to look like the type women I am attracted to.

 

It's true, she's just a girl, and what have I got to lose by talking to her? I'm afraid after today I might suffer the same fate as Consumed up there =( I really feel like I blew away the perfect opportunity...

 

Anyway, thanks very much for your responses.

[RayKay]

I say you just go up and talk to her. Don't make it something cheesy like "Can I spot you?" or correct them on form or anything, just go up and start some small talk. You could maybe ask her to spot you...not so creepy

 

It depends on her experiences and her personality whether she will be put off by it or not. Personally while I enjoy talking to people at the gym and go to a very friendly, close-knit community gym, I AM there to do my training which I take pretty seriously, and if I am being hit on in a rather over-direct manner, it would bother me (I have a boyfriend anyway...but you get my point). Though someone making small talk is welcome as long as they don't interfere with my workout. There is one guy at my gym whom makes it a point to hit on like EVERY woman, he will stand by them on the cardio machines, or the weights and talk and talk. I think his workouts take 3-4 hours because he spends 2-3 hours TALKING to women. Drives me nuts, and I purposely wear my headphones so I can't get pulled into a convo! These poor girls trying to climb their hearts out on the stairstepper and can't escape him.....

 

I think you just have to convey you are not in the habit of doing it to every attractive woman whom walks through...

[thefireisoutanyway]

That's pretty hiliarious. Your Don Juan reminds of me this other guy from this other gym, except he wasn't hitting on women, but he was going around feeding everyone his conservative-racist-bigotry crap, along with his complaints about the university. (Oh man, I just realized that his "target" were younger male students...)

 

Your post reminded me of something I didn't think about -- listening to music. This girl, I noticed that she had an ipod on her. I didn't see if she had something in her ears...

 

How is this relevant to anything? I have no clue. For some reason, I feel more afraid to talk to her, now that I realized that she is listening to music while she works out...

 

Okay, so small talk is good. I'll keep that in mind. And nothing too cheesy or creepy.

 

Thanks =)

[RayKay]

That's pretty hiliarious. Your Don Juan reminds of me this other guy from this other gym, except he wasn't hitting on women, but he was going around feeding everyone his conservative-racist-bigotry crap, along with his complaints about the university. (Oh man, I just realized that his "target" were younger male students...)

 

Your post reminded me of something I didn't think about -- listening to music. This girl, I noticed that she had an ipod on her. I didn't see if she had something in her ears...

 

How is this relevant to anything? I have no clue. For some reason, I feel more afraid to talk to her, now that I realized that she is listening to music while she works out...

 

Okay, so small talk is good. I'll keep that in mind. And nothing too cheesy or creepy.

 

Thanks =)

 

LOL, well, music is also good to keep you focused and give you some motivation when you are pounding away the miles of trying to complete that third set - not JUST to avoid talking. If I see someone I want to talk to, I turn down the volume or pop out the headphones.

 

Headphones or not, just flash a genuine smile and see how she responds to that...that will give you an indication of whether she is open to listening or not.

 

Or if she is on a machine, go up and ask her if you can work some sets in with her.

 

The gym does give you a few opportunities to strike up some small talk, if you look for them. I usually have been asked about my tattoo, or about whether I am training for something, or small talk about certain things that may "give me away" (ie I am wearing a hat from a mountain bike race). Not all of them were hitting on me, but a couple have for sure!

[Markers]

rule number one, don't try too hard. Otherwise you fall into that mass of drooling people at gym who have tried on hitting her before... it's so easy to get cheesy at gym.. by the way, someone listening to music doesn't necessarily mean they want to be alone, I listen to death metal and stuff to keep me going when it feels bad.. and it's doesn't make me too approachable, to have that "Agony in My Name" look on your face