Temporary return due to small setback..just feeling low

[sukerbut]

Well this is a temporary return due to my mother whom does not know when to stop..well last night went to dinner with the folks and of course my mom is my worst enemy it sems lately...its been 6 months .. i woke up yesterday thinking about her a lil, but got over it pretty quick..well go to dinner with my parent s and my mother bust out..oh i saw crisitna in tj max with this tall ugly dude buying a chair..she looked good but he was hedious...BAAAANG!!! I mean are you kidding me write now...she just opened up a can of worms for me...i know i am not supposed to care but last night i wazs deproved of sleep wonderign who this guy is..i have 2 choices and i think tis one of them...its more of a personal matter with me..as you can tell i ma not doing to good right now...i feel like a lot of progrees i have made has been flushed down the toilet..i am in shambles ..angry, sad , idiffrent..ugh plus this lady hass this dog that yelps all night in the next apartment..i am not doing to well...i mean so many emotions and ideas that i should give two sheets about yet..i cant..i dont want her back i relaly dont..she is not trust worthy but i just dont get why she want s to surround herself around losers..like that..buying chairs..is she moving in with him..who knows?..i dont but now i am curious and i dont like it..then i start questioning my judgment as to how i can give myself to this person whom does not care two sheets about me as well...i am pretty much a messs today ... really hurting and pessed at my motehr..i was doing well now i feel liek total sheet again...this is taking way too long and i am starting to feel immature and weak which are not my qualities...i gave so much love and effort and she would rather hang out with losers than a proper man that loves her and treats her unbelievably..it just does not make any sense..i have been datiing and allt eh women i date fall for me ..i am kind giving and funny, yet the one woman that i want would rather be with losers...its very agitating to feel this way..i just want to cry sometimes..not for her just for the frustration

[annie24]

I'm sorry. My mom drives me insane also. For me, she's constantly critisizing me about one thing or another. Literally. She'll knock on my door so she can come in and tell me I need to lose weight or get a better waredrobe. now I don't want to visit her, and she honestly has no clue about what she did wrong with me.

 

Have you started dating new women yet? Sometimes having a new person in your life will help you get over the old one.

[hockeyboy]

once you start to get over her, things like this will pass quickly.

 

for example, i avoided my ex at all costs for a long time. eventually i came to find out she had a new bf..actually found out on my birthday of all days. it set me back, but after a few days it really wasnt a big deal.

[sukerbut]

yeah i have been dating, and the worst part is they fall for me..and it drives me crazy..becasue they all see what a great guy i am..i am dating this one girl now whom iss head over heels for me..and i get angry, not at her but at the sheer fact that the woman that i want would rahter hang with losers and waistsof life that have nothing going for them ! its very frustrating...i am just very friustrated right now..i hate questionong my judgment which is what i am doing now..how can soemone like myself that knows right from wrong and know value can give himself to someone liiek her..it eats me up inside..it really does..how can i unconditionally love some one liek that..why can every woman that i have dated fell for me hard and realized what a super guy i am yet this one just wont..listen i know tis not me..it has never been me..i have never treated her wrong all i have given her is everything...so i know its not me...how could i fall for a flake like that and still hurt for her..when she does nto even know i exist any more..agian its the frustration that hurts more than losing her...i just dont get it

[annie24]

well, I mean, if she's going to go for losers, then she has no common sense. Do you want a woman like that to be the mother of your children? I know you can see the big picture. Now that she left, you can find a quality woman for yourself. Your ex did you a huge favor. There is someone better for you out there.

[WildChild]

I'm sorry your Mom did that. I would highly recommend you talking to her about it. It doesn't have to be confrontational, and maybe on the lines of:

 

Mom, I was thinking more about our conversation about Cristina the other night at dinner. I know you didn't mean anything bad by it, but next time you see her or hear something about her could you please not tell me. I'm really in a place right now where I am trying to move on and I really don't want to or care to hear about her. It just makes it more difficult on me and we both know the relationship was not good. So I really want to keep her out of my life for right now.

 

As for this guy she was with no one knows who he is. He could be a family member, co-worker, friend's husband/boyfriend. I know it is hard to not wonder, but don't let that ruin all of your progress.

[sukerbut]

hey annie thanks..i know ..her judgment has always been a concern, and yes i do not a woman like that to be the mother of my children..but why this longengin for her and her only..i have been in realtionships with super woiman yet i chose this one to want to be my life partenr in my heart and head..what the hell is wrong with my judgment thats my issue.. i should of written her of a long time ago. yet it s her love that i want and i cant get...could that be it..the challenge for her love that drives me to these situations..i dont know i am just very discombubulateed today..it will pass..thanks for listening..qand wildchild she talked about her 2 weeks ago how she saw her, and i was like mom..please i dont really care so dont talk about ehr again..so what does she do..on ym b-day dinner know less..blow up the whole night by telling me this..no i think i know who this guy is..i really dont care abvout the guy...i knwo tis weird...its just that i gave my all..eveybody else sees it and she does not...why would a woman not want to love some one that wants to be there for her .. take care of her..do all the little nice things continously..its baffling...the stable womaen love me and the emotional freak just dont know how to accept love....

[SilverCloud]

I know what you feel... thing like them dating a loser makes you question your own sanity and question how a stable person fall for a flake.

But here is the thing, love does not question whether the other person is an idiot or jerk. My grandmother used to say a great thing...but since i am translating it, i hope it still means the same, soo here goes.

"When love has to come it can even come for a donkey"

Lol... hope that cheered you a bit... i mean my terrible translation(hahaha)

Keep your chin up, I am sure you will now be carefull of not falling for flakes. Take it as a lesson learnt, to be more careful for the people we fall for. Yes it feels like a burn, but some of us are kind and naive to not realize such things till we get burned...

We are here for you as always(*hugs*)

[sukerbut]

hey guys thanks..i needed to vent...i never fall for flakes she is the only one that i fell for 5 yrs ago.i have fully accepted the fact after three break ups all initiated on her part...that she just uses me for emotionall support and a good time ... im glad i have gone no contact...it sucks for her becasue i would of loved with ehr the same passion now for teh rest of ehr life..i am ok with teh fact that i am not with her..i just need to vent and thanks for listening..this hurts

[WildChild]

It is good to see that you realize it was not healthy. I know you love(d) her and really wanted to give her all you could, but you also need respect and consideration as well. It does hurt, and that's o.k. It will pass, and you have come a long way whether you realize it or not.

 

As for your mother, you are going to have to step it up a notch then. I have a mother who loves to do basically the same. You need to put your foot down. Tell her that you have asked her time and time again, and you are not going to ask again. That you would hope she should have realized that everytime she says something it hurts you.

 

If and when your Mom does this again even after talking to her (which I think you need to do again), I guess you will have to get up and walk out no matter where you are. I had to tell my Mom that even though she is my Mother, it did not give her the right to do those types of things to me. She has finally gotten it through her head although she slips now and then. We might be their kids, but we are not kids