Why do we make things complicated?

[Spawn]

Hi...

 

Hope all are doin well....

 

It hit me again today

 

Why do we make things so complicated that things don't work out the way it used to be. Sometimes i feel its little immature to hold on to grudges since we have only one life and things could have been simple, with out all the dramas associated with a relationship.

 

My first and probably the last relationship was really not what it was meant to be. I got emotionally worked up and let down a lot. I am feelin a bit relieved that its over. But somewhere i feel we both made it so hard on eachother, we could have just sit and had a chat about it. She couldn't get over her ex and i was fed up the way she treated me. The last time(i won't be hearin from her ever) she sounded as if nothin had happened at all. Anyways i do hope she has a very good healthy life.

 

I met a very cute girl in my training thingy got very friendly but it was good of her to let me know that she didn't want to get into a relationship and she wouldn't like to marry at all. She just doesn't believe in marraige and stuff, if possible would always stay single.

 

i get scared by such people sometimes, my first gf now my ex, also thought like her. i still remember my ex sayin to me that don't ask for commitment and didn't i tell you before dating that don't get serious about the relationship.

 

what is it with some girls? This is second time its happennin....

 

I am a very happy go lucky kinda guy....become friends very soon with everyone.....perhaps should tone down my friendly nature a bit.

[NR498E]

Just keep being that happy go lucky guy and things will make sense someday,I'm sure.

As for girls...I don't know, there weird...

[AznSalamando]

I am a happy go lucky guy too! We shouldnt be down like this!

 

Yeah... it sucks when ex's come into play. In a sense I feel bad for the guy (while annoyed that as my friend/ex friend) he pushed her into a rebound relationship. It was only a month after our breakup that he kept buying flowers and doing super crazy things for her that she felt bad and now they are bf/gf. Recently she talked to me, and I feel that while I had the time to get over her, her rebound made it pretty much impossible to think about us and get over our relationship. In a sense I also feel bad because I love her yet I don't want to be with her anymore. I can't trust her that way anymore.

 

Not that theres no chance of me still giving us a chance in the distant future, but being each others first love/relationship and her rebounding really doesn't help her situation. She told me she wanted to see what its like, and we both knew he wasnt her type yet she still went for it. I warned him and her, that beforehand that this was not a good idea. She should have took time to be single to get over it.

 

In a ways, it sucks to have ex's still linger or stay on the girl's mind. Even though he jumped in and broke the friend rule, I still feel sorry that hes just being used for the attention and spent time in order to make it easier to get through her life. I've been keeping out of contact but last time I saw her it was more painful for her to see me even though I was fine. She said I acted as if nothing happened between us even thouhg I know its not the same. I was able to get over it, and I realized she barely moved at all from all the drama she is causing in her life.

 

You should continue to be friendly, and keep up your happy go lucky attitude. Don't worry, somebody like you a girl would be lucky to have. Not all guys out there are nice and good hearted.

[SilverManic]

As for girls...I don't know, there weird...

 

As can guys be. Everyone has different aspects on relationships it can be hard to move on when you loved someone so much. But thats what makes us alive. I hope you feel better soon,

~S.

[sweetheart230]

girls don't always know what they want. a lot of them buy into the whole "i want to be independent and not depend on a man" stuff and some women just think men want to hear "i don't want to get married". Really. A lot of chicks think thats what guys want to hear b/c guys get scared about getting trapped.

[Spawn]

girls don't always know what they want. a lot of them buy into the whole "i want to be independent and not depend on a man" stuff and some women just think men want to hear "i don't want to get married". Really. A lot of chicks think thats what guys want to hear b/c guys get scared about getting trapped.

 

interesting, you must have dated a lot to have that kinda understanding.....

 

thats from a girls point of view or a guy.

[Skippy]

"interesting, you must have dated a lot to have that kinda understanding..... "

 

i dont think yo have to date lots of ppl to realise that. just look at society. It is getting o apoint where we are taught at hime to be independent and selfish, and when we get older we are slapped in the face with media and feminism. Then we look at society and see that divorce rate are getting higher and our parents tell us to make sure that in our relationship we keep separate bank accounts. It stinks bu it is true.

The word independence is actually the mistrust of being in a relationship.

Being in a relations requires trust and a mind set the called being self reliant when necessary. To me relationship and independence are mutually exclusive. Relationship and the knowledge that you are self reliant is the way to go.

[sweetheart230]

interesting, you must have dated a lot to have that kinda understanding.....

 

thats from a girls point of view or a guy.

 

I'm a girl. But I've been lambasted by several of my female friends b/c I don't have a post-college career plan and b/c I want to get married and have a family. I've literally been yelled at by one particular girl who just can't understand why i'd ever want to depend on a man and "be his slave". I told her that being financially dependent on him doesn't make me his slave and if he thought that I simply wouldn't marry him. She was still annoyed at me and doesn't like me. Oh well.

 

And sooooo many self-help books geared toward women tell women that guys get freaked out if you make marriage your goal at the beginning. That's not my problem cause i'm 21 and id on't care right now, but i guess its a problem amont some women. i dunno. ig uess if i were ag uy i'd prolly not want to hear from a chick "i really really wanna get married" so it makes sens cause then youw onder if they want you ro ust want someone. sorry about the grammar i've bee out a bit tonighte.

[Spawn]

And sooooo many self-help books geared toward women tell women that guys get freaked out if you make marriage your goal at the beginning.

 

Man if i see any of such books i will burn them....

 

The person who writes these books deserves to be kicked in the butt.

 

Most of my friends went thru the breakup only because of this, commitment phobia from the girls side. I never understood then why it was happenning until i got tested for my commitment, i was like so very faithful to this girl, she used to ask me whether its a problem for me to marry a college drop out (my ex had no plans to finish her graduation) and i used to say heck i didn't start dating thinkin about her college history. I liked her very much, still do but things didn't work out. But during the relationship she developed cold feet, started thinking again once her ex came into the picture, started throwing up reconciliation thing and lot of drama unfolded...anyways. The way she treated me afterwards was pathetic. so long for my first gf.

 

sweetheart230,

 

you know what? you sound to be a very confident girl. You know what you want to do with your life, thats a great attitude i say. Wish my ex was like you. Things would have been different. Why she didn't believe in me is beyond me.

 

guess nuthin lasts forever....

[BillyJean714]

Yup, that's true. There really isn't a need to hold onto grudge/resentment. It will only hold you back from your own happiness. You might still hurt on occasions, but oh well..time to move on and do things that make you feel happy again.

 

And, if you gave it your best shot and the person you were with took you for granted, just think about it, their karma will come back.

 

Hang in there!