***Feedback Please***

[cky2006]

Im going to try and make this as short as possible.

 

My g/f and I broke up on March 13. Since that day I have not called her or talked to her. Although we have mutual friends, I do not ask any questions about her. We were together for 4 years and then 2 day after this years valentines day she tell me she needs space to figure out what she wants. I was over whelmed with the situation. I did my share of pleading and begging. We talked everyday after that to see where things were going but in all it ended up w. her breaking things off. We had slight issues in our relationship. We did not have a bad one. I had controlling issues and she had communication issues. With that said. I obviously still think about her everyday. I'm trying to move on. It's working. Im already talking to other girls and what not. But I really don't want to make a mistake. I don't want to hurt any feelings. I guess I can understand where my ex is coming from. But with all we have been through Im not sure if I'll ever get her back or if she will ever want me back. She made it my descion to keep in contact. But I told her she can not have the best of both worlds.

 

So today hit the 2 week mark where I haven't talked to her or seen her. I don't know if I sould try making some kind of contact to see where I am at in her life. I do and I don't. I told her the day we offically broke things I would call her, but I never did.

 

I guess right now I want to see if I have a place in her life. If not then I can just forget about it and continue moving on. This girl im talking to right now is a great girl. But I don't want to hurt anyone.

 

Please give me some feedback... if there is any other info you guys/girls need to know to actually leave feedback let me know.... I typed this fast, im sure I left some things out ...

 

Thanks in Advanced

Will

[xblondyx]

Keep with NC. It was her who broke it off. So it should be her who comes to you first.

I know it's hard, i've been through it 2 years ago and currently going through it on a smaller scale now. Just stay strong and let her come to you, if she doesn't then move on!

[CamGuy]

Will,

 

This is going to be hard, and I would say you have a 45% chance following my advice, but the best thing you can do is NOT COMMUNICATE with her. No calls, not text messages, no instange messages, NO NOTHING. It's hard I know, but she dumped you. Allow it to stir in her head. The only think you need to worry about is bettering yourself, and do thinks YOU WANT TO DO. Go to the gym, run, hang out with the guys, etc.

 

After NC has been established for a while (month or so), she either may realize she wants you back, or its over for good. But talking or communicating with her is only going to either push her away even more, or just not allow your wounds to heal.

 

Let it go. Read my Nice Guy THeory thread.

[cky2006]

It really not that hard. That's what im trying to get at. I feel that I did everything I can to get her back and she didn't budge. She still has some things of mine including a ring ... I feel that if shes the one that broke things off I deserve the ring back.....don;t know what to do... I told her to give me the ring back or just the papar work.... because where I bought the ring... you can return it and get something else... it keeps its full value as long as she spend twice as much ... and I don't want that to happen !

[CamGuy]

Well, if you want the ring back, definitely get it back. What I am saying is dont allow your ex GF to cherry pick the items of the relationship she wants to keep, just so she can feel better abotu her decision.

 

A break up is a BREAK UP. All things stop. Its part of life. She'll understand that soon enough, even if she doesnt get it right now.

[Midgi]

I agree with the others. Two weeks is not a long time for her to realise what she is missing out on. Leave it for another month or so and if you will want to contact her, do so. But call her at a time when you do not feel the urge so badly and will take a rejection better.

 

Do not under no circumstances contact her when you feel vulnurable!

[kerure]

Well,

 

Sounds like very good advise but the thing is... have you looked at it form a girl's perspective? Yes she called off the relationship? But the question is ... why? She most certainly must have had her reasons. Maybe something was no longer working in the relationship, maybe she felt she needed to distance herself from you to make YOU realise you still want her in your life. It could be for a host of reasons. I think it would help if you knew why she asked you for time and space. The fact that she's keeping your ring may and may not mean anything. As a girl, some of us who are still so traditional will still wait for the guy to make the first move, whether or not WE asked for space. I think when it comes to love, the game of who does what first is rather irrelevant, the point is do YOU love her enough to work things out in your relationship IF you were to come back together? I would suggest that you should try to find out if you guys still have a chance, unless of course the answer may hurt you if it's not in the affirmative. In which case I would also suggest that you give it at least another 2 weeks. In the meantime, try to keep things on an even keel with the nice girl you're seeing, no false hopes whether intentionally or otherwise, till you know where you're at with your ex. As you said, it's never good to hurt anyone, no one deserves it, not when all they did was love/like you. My 2 pence.

 

It's your call and either way, you have my backing....

 

Good luck

[cky2006]

Exactly ... thats why I said she can't have he best of both worlds ... she told me that she still wanted to call me and talk to me .... but you know what that's not going to happen... I'm not going to call ... if she wants to talk to me she can call me... but the truth is we are both hard headed ... and if I don't call she won't call vis versa ... so that's one stump I am at with this situation ....

 

I'm done pleading and begging ... im not going to drag it out anymore ...

[cky2006]

i havent thanked you guys/girls yet .... THANK YOU ....!

 

Well I know one of the main reasons was my behavior toward alot of things she either did or didn't do. She knows I'm sorry and I can't do anything to change the past. I told her if we have the love to work this out our realtionship from here on will be like none other. I know she had doubt to break things off because it actually took here 3 weeks to do it. I could be wrong. She has 2 girlfriends that are having a big influence on this situation, and that is really not help me out. I really don't what else to say. Like I keep saying I did what I could. But I don't ever want to think that if I stop, I know I won't get her back. I'm basiclly stumped. I'm over all the stages of the break up. Example : not eatting, depressed, etc... all those things I'm over with. But of course she is on my mind.