Should I call him??

[alwaysafraid]

My ex and I broke up in February and we haven't really talked due to the fact that he left me for another girl. I miss him, and know that I didn't mean that much to him. Our birthdays are both this week he will be 30 and I will be 25. I am wondering of I should call and wish him a happy birthday?

[Iwanthim]

honestly i think i would call him and wish him happy birthday it shows him that u still care and remember his b-day and see if he can rememeber its ur too good luck

[heteropedro]

Sure wish him a happy b day. But I dont think he'll get back with you unless you some how become super attractive to him. Sadly with guys its mainly looks. Thats the harsh truth.

[Kpuppy]

I say don't call him. He has obviously moved on, and so should you. I know it is hard, but calling him is just going to set you back in your progress to move on with your life. If you haven't spoken since Feburary and you are still having feelings for him, hearing his voice isn't going to make things any better.

I know that you are feeling alone right now without him, but if you can, you should try to get back out there. I normally would suggest a recovery period before dating again, but in your case, I would suggest going out and flirting a little, letting yourself know that you are still attractive to the opposite sex, because if you know that, you willl have the power to get over him.

[pix6dix]

I agree 100% with Swingfox. If you two were still friends and stayed in contact, it's okay to contact him. If you two haven't stayed in contact and he's moved on, leave him alone, birthday or not. There's nothing worse than an old flame interfering with your life even though they think they're just "being polite..."

[alwaysafraid]

Just one more question then. I am not going to call him. When we were dating he told me that he never met anyone like me he thought that I was attractive (I don't have very high self-esteem so I don't believe it people on the street tell me that I am beautiful) and he loved being around me. He left me on the anniversary of his divorce for a girl almost 10 years younger. Normally I see all kinds of problems in a relationship, but we didn't have any of that we got along very well he liked my family I liked his and they liked me we enjoyed doing the same things. How can someone tell you that they feel this way and treat you like this then leave you out of nowhere for someone else. I have been so confused and hurt for so long I need answers and know that I won't get them from him. Please help me.

[reborn]

Hi always,

It really sounds like you need to have clousure. I don´t think that your original desire to wish him a happy b-day came so much from doing just that or to have a casual chat with him. On the surface yes, but deep down I think you are uneasy like there is something or some issue unresolved about this relationship.

About your original request if you should call or not. To wish him a happy birthday I don´t think is such a major thing, and February is not so far back either. However to wish a happy birthday to a guy who left you for another is another ball park all together.

You sound a bit like me in the sense that I also feel like I got slapped in the face with my ex´s decision to break up. Much like you I felt we got along great, he enjoys my company, I am special to him, etc. etc. etc. I think the original thing here may be that you feel that you were deceived by this person. It is like 2 pictures that don´t match. On the one hand you are together happily and the othe he is like another person and calls it quit and is in love with someone else. I think that huge unexpected contradiction is what is eating you up.

I don´t think this is about b-day greetings. I think you really need to see and value what it is you need. Maybe you won´´t get from him an explanation. Maybe you don´t need one, maybe what you need is to tell him off (politely) to tell him he was a jerk. To tell him you felt used. Or whatever it is you need to let out for clousure. If you do decide to talk to him, if that is what deep down will close this chapter for you or get you on the way to there do it for you. To get it off your chest. It doesn´t matter if he thinks you are a freak or whatever. If you don´t need to talk to him, just write a letter and tell him off in your letter. This may work for you as well. Just burn it up, don´t send it some people say.

I really think what you need is clousure and if you need to tell him something do tell him. The answer about what it is you need to say lies inside of you. Best of luck to you and Happy Birthday.

-Reborn