Hunny1607307342 Posted March 21, 2006 Share Posted March 21, 2006 Broke up with this guy I was never really official with for 5 months, a couple of months ago because he didn't think we were right for each other. When he was breaking up it was a pretty definite break-up; he made it seem like he'll never change his mind. Although it was VERY sudden, we had never had a 'just friends' relationship to start with, it was pretty shocking for me and i've found it the hardest thing in the world to deal with. Didn't see him for a while. We go to the same college, but before we used to make the effort to spend time with each other, but after the break-up this wasn't the case obviously. He had a new girlfriend immediately after. Now, a couple of weeks ago he broke up with her, and without knowing this, I just asked him to do me a 'work-favour', and it was as though we re-connected on that day. Now I see him a lot more and he gives me the same flirtatious looks like he used to...subtle physical contact... Hmmm... I keep thinking this can't be for real...but I don't know... i get the same vibes as I used to... am I reading too much into this?? Link to comment
friscodj Posted March 21, 2006 Share Posted March 21, 2006 Well, he didn't think you were right for each other, the break-up was pretty definite, he gets a new girlfriend, he just breaks up with her, you see him under your accord and not his, and now he's flirting with you... My opinion? It sounds like he's messing with you. He told you he didn't think you guys were right for each other. Why would that perception change? You're too wrapped up in him still. I'd stay away from this one... Link to comment
robowarrior Posted March 21, 2006 Share Posted March 21, 2006 Could be he is on the rebound , and grabs back to you since his relationship with that other woman failed, him thinking he'll have more chance with you. Wether you want this is beyond my knowledge, however if there's a mutual agreement, and if he hasn't been hurtfull to you in the past you might give it another try. Personally i don't like lightswitch relationships, and im afraid he is using you as an emotional tampon. Keep appropriate distance is my advice, and say STOP if anything happens that you dislike. Make sure you are his nr.1 in life if it comes to a relationship. Link to comment
Hunny1607307342 Posted March 21, 2006 Author Share Posted March 21, 2006 Thanks so much for your responses. I see what you're saying, and i know that practically it would not be good for me to get back with him, and that i should stay away. But i just can't help it! Like, before we broke up i was the happiest person ever, and I LIKE feeling like that. Even having nearly got over him, i wasn't that happy, I wasn't DEPRESSED, but I wasn't HAPPY either. But when i'm with him its a really amazing feeling. But then again i don't want to be used as a backup plan! Don't know what to do, my heart is saying one thing, my brain another... Link to comment
mystik Posted March 21, 2006 Share Posted March 21, 2006 You can help it, like you said, you were nearly over him.. Why don't you stay away, and focus your time on finding or being available for someone who will also make you HAPPY, but at the same time, not use you as a back up plan? Link to comment
friscodj Posted March 21, 2006 Share Posted March 21, 2006 Thanks so much for your responses. I see what you're saying, and i know that practically it would not be good for me to get back with him, and that i should stay away. But i just can't help it! Like, before we broke up i was the happiest person ever, and I LIKE feeling like that. Even having nearly got over him, i wasn't that happy, I wasn't DEPRESSED, but I wasn't HAPPY either. But when i'm with him its a really amazing feeling. But then again i don't want to be used as a backup plan! Don't know what to do, my heart is saying one thing, my brain another... Yeah, from what you wrote here, it sounds like pursuing a relationship with this guy would eventually stuff you inside the hurt locker for a long time. Healthy relationships are not based on phrases like, "I just can't help it!" And do you think he reciprocates these feelings of yours? After he surely told you you weren't right for each other and started dating someone else? Wouldn't he make a concerted effort to be with you if he did? Damage control. Close the door now before things get worse. This one's obvious... Link to comment
vesper Posted March 21, 2006 Share Posted March 21, 2006 Wow -tough one - I know what you mean when you say your heart tells you one thing and your heart another...but seriously...do not let him know that he can have you again so easily. He did break your heart once, don't let him do it again...be the strong one here...let him make the moves...i.e. begging, pleading...ha ha.... Link to comment
Mrocza Posted March 21, 2006 Share Posted March 21, 2006 "Fool me once, shame on you Fool me twice, shame on me" Lol, it was hard enough getting over him the first time when he didn't even have it in him to commit to you. Now he's back to flirting with you after he dumped you, and you're considering it? Have a little self-respect. You can do better than him. Link to comment
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