Interrupted Love

[Murravener]

My girlfriend and I are Juniors in High school and have been together for over 2 years. Her mother has never really approved of me despite never having really met me except on an occasional pass by. Her mom eavesdropped on one of our conversations and overheard us discuissing weither or not we were ready for sex. Her mother has always been extremely controlling as far as her daughters social life, always telling her who to hang out with. Now she is telling her daughter were to work, wha service groups to be in, how to study, all to keep her away from me. Despite us living only 2 miles apart her mom is doing everything she can to keep us appart. Their relationship is very unhelthy. Her first 2 kids were rather reserved and not very social and now my gf is the only one in the family pursuing a social life and she is taking a big hit. So now my gf has decided to break from me to make her mom happy but it is sacrificing her own happiness. What can be done for all of this. We cant stand to be apart and I've spoken to a nuetral adult who think the problem is much deeper and within the mother. What can be done to fix this situation, and how can all of these relationships be healed?

[tyler711]

I was in that exact situation, pretty much the same thing. Unfortunately, until you both turn 18 you have to listen to her mother. She probably doesn't like you because she knows her daughter loves you and she feels like she is going to get replaced as soon as you guys graduate and get married, or whatever you choose to do. The mom tries to take her away from you by controlling her, which is wrong, but nothing you can do. She broke up with you to make her mom happy? Or she is taking a break? She's torn in two trying to please you both. The only thing you can do is support her and give her some time. You might go against her wishes, and see your girlfriend at work, or wherever, but be careful. Does the mom want you to completely stay away from her? Anyway, before you know it you will both have your own lives and alot more things to worry about. Send me a PM if you want, and I will tell you everything I did in my situation.

[Alabama]

Sadly, I don't think much can be helped at this time. The mother is in control of her child, and as you stated, your girlfriend still cares for her mother, but who is to blame then? The mother might change one day, but there is way to be sure. Accept things as they are now, until they get better. Sorry.

[KandiBabe]

I sort of have the same problem. My boyfriends mum doesn't like me because she thinks im too sexual because before i was going out with my boy he was sitting on the couch at my youth group and he had a pillow in his lap and i was so tired so i lay on it, not thinking of it in a sus way.

 

Sort of amusing though because my boyfriend is soooooooo sexual it's not funny (though i tell him if he's doing anything i don't approve of {hand in wrong place ect}) and she thinks im a total bad girl even though im churchy youth groupy. She's never given me a chance and well yeah. But unlike your girlfriend my boyfriend doesn't care what his mum thinks.

 

But I can see your girlfriends veiw too. I am really close to my mum and if she didn't approve of someone I would be very rocky and probly break too. Though before I dump him I would talk to my mother about it and try and convince her he's not such a bad guy. Maybe you should have a talk to your girl and ask her to try and sort it out with her mother. Maybe you could even try and talk to her mother ?(though try and keep that as a last resort).

 

Luv Ya All

 

ME

[Momene]

It could be (as you suggest) that she doesn't like you for no other reason than being her daughter's boyfriend but I'd also take a look at yourself and ask if there's anything she might pick up on that she wouldn't like. Do you swear, look untidy or anything like that?

[shyanne]

mom's know best... you guys just don't know that yet.. my mom was like that with my friends... i wasn't allowed to hang out with certain people because my mom could see what kind of trouble those kids got into..or if she thought they were sexually active....and i listened even though at the time i didn't understand. now that i'm a mother, i can totally understand and respect the things she taught me growing up. i will be the same way with my girls, they won't be with anyone i disapprove of while living at home. mom's want the best for their children and don't want them lead in the wrong direction, including early sex...