Not enough time together...

[yumblefish]

My gf of 8 months is busy with work and stuff so I can understand that she may not have that much fre time at the moment, but when an opportunity does come up for her to spend some time with me she doesn't always take it. It's not like she doesn't make suggestions about when we can see each other, but invariably it feels like it's because it's convenient for her schedule. It's almost as if she sees me just enough to keep me happy. She stays one night a week, when she could quite easily stay two, and I see her briefly a couple of other times in the week.

 

Am I being strung along here? Is she afraid of further commitment at her age (I'm a few years older than her), does she just like the idea of having a bf or am I expecting too much so soon - I guess eight months isn't that long really...

 

Thoughts?

[tyler711]

There's a thousand reasons why she might be avoiding you. Afraid of committment as you said, cheating, bored with the relationship, or maybe she really is busy and not avoiding you at all. There's one thing you must do though, talk to her about this. If you don't it will eat you up inside wondering why she's doing this. If not, you will create a pandora's box. She might think that because you're distant, you are avoiding her. The only way to get past this and find a solution is to discover the problem first. The only person who truly knows is her.

[SilverCloud]

Am I being strung along here? Is she afraid of further commitment at her age (I'm a few years older than her), does she just like the idea of having a bf or am I expecting too much so soon - I guess eight months isn't that long really...

 

Thoughts?

 

my ex also had same kind of complains of me... but then i was the one constantly running to see him.. and yes i was busy too but i made time to be with him.. he was my priority.

 

Him just complaining about it did not help our situation. I suggest you try to come up ways to meet her half way. I feel that as much as my ex complained, he never put in even half as effort as i did. Try to find ways that you can go meet her instead of hoping for her to show up.

 

I would suggest try making calls to her just to say hi. My ex wouldnt call even call me to ask me if i reached back home from his place safely.

 

If the boyfriend does not show interest in caring for you and is always complaining, it can be quite disheartening and yes can make you not wanting to go our to the boyfriends place, hoping this might cause him to give some attention to you instead of constantly complaining about what the girlfriend is doing.

 

My suggestion get a hobby to have a life of your own and try to put in half the effort. Since I have been there I just think the person complaining is usually the one who has nothing to do but see the other persons short comings. Ask yourself what you have done to help her if she is too busy, and no just sitting and waiting cant be counted in that. And yes she could be waiting for you to stop complianing for once and ask if she has any fears of the relationship.

 

I am sorry if i sound to harsh but i hope my openess helps you two.