solo34 Posted March 16, 2006 Share Posted March 16, 2006 I know man, just take my advice...but when you're down, feel free 2 express it here. -Solo34 Link to comment
hoping Posted March 16, 2006 Author Share Posted March 16, 2006 hey solo with my situation...u think i even have a chance to get her back? Link to comment
solo34 Posted March 16, 2006 Share Posted March 16, 2006 Well...it takes time, man. But U have 2 show her that U are your own man. That it's nice 2 have her as a PART of your life...but not AS your life. U have 2 be a strong, healthy, loving, and caring person 4 her...as does she 4 U. Like I said, by doing this "act" while your down, it will show her that U are your own man. U can cry in the shadows and the confines of your home, and that's fine...but just don't let it show in the spotlight of the ones that can go back 2 her and tell her about it. You're turning over a new leaf...start 2 minimize your contact with the mutual friends. It's time 2 do your own thing, just like I been telling U. Having said all this, I would be willing 2 bet, just as I said earlier...that if U show that you're your own man, your own person...she'll start 2 get curious. If she doesn't, at least U worked on YOU, bettered yourself, and it will ultimately be HER loss. Take care, man. -Solo34 Link to comment
mystik Posted March 16, 2006 Share Posted March 16, 2006 solo34's right. You have to start focusing on you...because either way, you either get her back, or you attract someone better The best thing to do is not focus on getting her back. By doing so, you'll end up doing one, or more of these unfortunate things: beg and obsess until she thinks you're a desperate and annoying fool who is to be pitied (this happens), you'll keep false hopes, you miss out on meeting someone great, you lose yourself and who you are in the process... and really, we don't want any of those things happening to you! Even if you succeed in getting her back, it rarely ever works out the second time. She'll only get back with you because she feels guilty or has been convinced by you that her feelings might be wrong. Either way, it's going to end again. If she really wants to get back together with you, to have a long future together, SHE will contact you. Accept that..and you'll move on more quickly. It's up to HER. Anything you force, isn't real. Link to comment
solo34 Posted March 17, 2006 Share Posted March 17, 2006 Exactly, man...listen 2 this young woman. Anything that's forced is NEVER real. If SHE comes back, there's a much greater chance that U 2 can and will work out. She will have learned and grown in this time apart, as will U have learnt and grown. Just work on U and do the things I've told U...You'll be alright, man. -Solo34 Link to comment
hoping Posted March 17, 2006 Author Share Posted March 17, 2006 yeah i hear u guys man....ill work on myself....hard but im sure i can get thro this....only thing is my confidence is shot almost dead by this whole thing....i find myself trying so hard just to keep my chin up and walk up right.....and i guess i have to go make new friends now......its kinda funny how things work sometimes....when i was with her...my phone rings 24/7.....from her and my friends.....now taht she left me....feels like the whole world left with her...my phone doesn't ring anymore.....i dunno....just feeling kinda alone....but the good thing is that i found this website.....so yeah....and just to rant some more.....i feel like i was used by her.......i found her to be very attractive since the very beginning....and have found her attractive all thro out the relationship....and even now i find her really attractive....she has changed a little bit throughout this relationship appearance wise....i've never noticed cuz i guess love is blind.....but alot of guys hit on her now .......and honestly.....when i found out about the other guy....i feel like she just doesn't see me as good enough for her looks....so she has to look somewhere else...well she doesn't have to look anywhere else cuz guys just hits on her everywhere she goes.....feels like she used me to boost her own confidence or something...and as soon as she achieved whatever she was looking for....she ditches me.....for some other amazingly "brad pitt" dude who asked for her number......i dunno maybe im wrong....but i just feel so used.....so hurt.....but again i guess i have to work on myself on that 1..... Link to comment
mystik Posted March 18, 2006 Share Posted March 18, 2006 Exactly, man...listen 2 this young woman. -Solo34 Young woman? I usually get called that by people over thirty at least lol... Anyway, staying on topic. hopin...you just gotta get over it. Seriously, stop thinking so much about how much it hurts. Please, just take our advice. Fake it. Don't just fake it with her, fake it with the rest of the world. The sooner you start at least TRYING to feel better about yourself, and not moaning about how hurt you are, the faster you'll get better. You're asking for our thoughts...on what? your hurt? We know, we've all been there. I understand your need to rant, but make sure you're not just coming here for our pity. You don't need it, you're better than that. Why aren't your friends calling you? Is it because they know you'll only act depressed? Maybe they feel it would be best to just leave you alone. Why don't YOU call them? This website is to act as an addition to your actual healing, not for you to sit around and think so much. GET OUT of the house. Go go go go! Link to comment
solo34 Posted March 18, 2006 Share Posted March 18, 2006 I just call all women young...no offense. -Solo34 Link to comment
mystik Posted March 18, 2006 Share Posted March 18, 2006 no offense taken, it was just funny. Link to comment
solo34 Posted March 18, 2006 Share Posted March 18, 2006 Cool...Glad I could make U laugh. -Solo34 Link to comment
hoping Posted March 18, 2006 Author Share Posted March 18, 2006 well...im not here for pity.....i just thought i vent and rant here....to keep myself sane....i hear ur advices...and im definitly taking it in and workin on it....yeah i've been callin my friends....but again....when i feel a lil lonely thats why i vent here thats all Link to comment
mystik Posted March 18, 2006 Share Posted March 18, 2006 Sorry, I didn't mean to say that you wanted our pity, that was a little too harsh...wrong choice of words. I'm sorry!! Yeah I understand your need to vent, and your loneliness... just wanted to make sure you were actually out there doing something too, sometimes we all just need a little push..thought you needed it, guess you don't. Don't let what I said stop you from venting if you need to. Link to comment
hoping Posted March 18, 2006 Author Share Posted March 18, 2006 wel....its an update...i got the long anticipated letter from her.....and it was really long...... as most of u prob guessed....its over for good.....she said she needed to find herself and she was scared cuz she realized that she was "only living for me"...and she pushed alot of people out of her lives.......and she needed to rebuild the bridges she burnt when she was with me......and asked me not to respond or call....and told me not to wait.... i duno what to take of this.....my mind a blank.....it hurts.....all i can feel is tears just swelling up right now as i type this.....tryin to fight it back.....i just want her to be happy, and if this is what makes her happy....im just gonna have to go along with it.....im just speechless....all i wanted to do was love her....but i guess thats just not possible anymore.... Link to comment
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