Trouble in bed

[Face22]

Hey,

 

Im not really sure which forum to post this is, i have been with my girlfriend for over a year now and i thought it was going great. It seemed to me we had a healthy sex life, but i have recently found out that my girlfriend has been lying to me about achieving orgasms during sex..and has done for the year or so we have been together.

 

I cant help feeling betrayed as she has lied to me for so long..about something pretty intimate between us...i feel like i am not enough for her..she swears the problem is her but how can i believe her when she has lied to me for so long..i simply dont know whether to trust her or not as i have always been honest with her...

 

really lost here

[marolua]

How old is she?Women don't know or don't learn what orgasm is until a certain age. I would agree with her that this is something that is about her, and is certainly not because you are not enough for her.

[Fluffy Bunni]

Some women just have difficulty achieving orgasms.

You shouldn't take it personally.

 

Ask her what she likes, maybe she needs to relax a little more or just differently.

 

As for her lying to you - maybe she didn't want to hurt your feelings if it's something she's had difficulty doing in the past.

[Hernj62]

I've done that in a relationship before. It wasn't the smartest idea because he reacted the same way you are right now..all panicky and paranoid, and hurt. The reason I did it...the guy couldn't get me off...BUT i really cared about him and sex to me in that relationship felt good. It was all equaled out becasue everyhting else was fantastic that I didn't really care whehter or not I got mine. I thought it was just me too... but it wasn't. It was him. And in the end, he cared about it more than I did. You should ask her if she's gotten one before and take it from there. Don't be upset that she lied to you though. She was protecting you and trying to save the relationship as a whole. But it is better to be addressed bc not having a healthy sex life for BOTH of you can lead to destruction in other areas. So good luck. And I'm sure you guys will be fine.

[Slightleejaded]

Thanks for posting this...my brother and sister in law have a similar problem, my sister in law has never been able to achieve an orgasm, but instead of lying about it she jsut doesn't have sex with him at all. MANY women, myself included can have problems reaching a climatic state. Fear of the unknown is usually the case with younger girls...but she's right in telling you it's not you, often the guy has little control over the situation...if a man suffers from premature ejaculation it's not exactly something he's proud of right. Nor is it really his fault either. Sometimes communication during sex is the key, sometimes the woman needs do for herself before she can show you what to do. Has you partner ever had an orgasm? Does she masterbate? If so, can she get herself off? If not, would she consider it? Finding her own climax point can help her to better tell you what you need to do. But please if you love each other, don't blame yourself or her either, have you considered that maybe she doesn't need an orgasm to feel completely satisfied with you. Don't be hasty -- think what you would do if you had an erection issue be it premature ejaculation or no erection at all. Believe it or not it sounds like she did what she did cause she loves you!

[Polypeptide]

Wow, guys really care.

 

I guess I tend to be with selfish guys. That's why.

 

When I was younger I didn't have any orgasm at all during sex with bfs. I was fine with that. When I was younger I understood that it's a bit harder for females to get orgasms. I could get it myself by masturbating.

 

How do woman fake her orgasm? I don't fake it. It's natural for a girl to not have orgasm.

 

But now I'm older. I think differently. I should have the right to have orgasm just like my bf. What's the point of having sex if only the guys get the good stuffs? I talked to my bf about my concerns. He has improvements. And we found certain positions that work and sex life is more enjoyable.