He's really shy. What should I do?

[Karibo]

Well there's this guy who I've known for years because he was the younger brother of my best friend's (now ex) boyfriend. We never really talked because we didn't know each other that well and we are both shy. I always got the impression that he liked me because he would never look me in the eye but i would sometimes catch him looking at me but I also knew he was extremely shy.

 

A few months ago i bumped into him when i was shopping and I said 'Hi' and he just looked very embarrassed. A few months on I bumped into him in the pub on a night out with my friends and he looked a little drunk and freely came up to me and talked, asking me about our neutral friends and my friend thought he fancied me. A few months later still, we all went to our friends party and he wanted to dance with me but I was with someone else at the time so I declined.

 

Well, the other night I went out with friends again and I could see him staring at me from the other side of the room. Eventually he came up to me (I think he had had a few beers lol) and was asking me how I was, what I was up to and if I was still going out with my ex, which i said no. We chatted for a few minutes then he went off with his friend.

 

About an hour later he came back and was hovering around me then we started to dance. I looked at him every now and then as if to say "If you want to kiss me, here's your chance." I did this several times before he plucked up the courage to do it. We danced and kissed for about twenty minutes then I realised I had to go. He asked me for my phone number, so I gave it to him and he text me that night asking me where i live (because he wasn't sure if i was living at uni or at home). But i am wondering if he was implying hooking up or something that night (he seemed a bit drunk and very forward which is totally out of character).

 

Well, I have a feeling that he is feeling a bit of an idiot for texting me that now because I haven't heard from him since (two days ago lol). Also I know that he is usually incredibly shy and usually can't even look me in the eye. I think this is because he has low confidence and because I am two years older than him (I'm 21). The thing is, he is going travelling for three months in three weeks, and i'm not sure what to do.

 

Should I text him to show that i'm still interested because he might be feeling like an idiot for his message the other night? Will this scare him off because he is soo shy and i might intimidate him? I do really like him because he does seem like a genuine guy and I was thinking about him lots at one stage after I had bumped into him in town that time.

 

What do you think i should do?

 

thanks

[DN]

Text him - ask him how he is doing and if he would like to grab a coffee sometime soon.

[SwimmerBR]

Go for it... his dynamics implicate interest (that and the fact that you already hooked up ).

 

Be casual, SMS him, and say that you want to meet him and talk. You said you´re afraid that being this straightforward you might scare him? Not at all!

 

He already round up the guts to kiss you. I´m a shy guy, believe me that´s the most scary part, because the first kiss is... well, the first kiss! It can either boost you up or shoot you down. It´s the premises of all to come...

 

Make your move. Or don´t. He is gonna be gone for 3 months? What do you prefer? Make a move and risk getting turned down, or wonder for the next 3 months "What if I had done something?" ?

 

By the way, from what you wrote, it seems that you´re all set. You should not worry too much...

[Karibo]

Well I text him last night being quite casual saying, "Hiya how are you? did you have a good time the other night at ****" and he hasn't replied!!!

 

I don't know, I have been getting the impression that he has liked me for so long but now he's not reponding!

 

I'm trying not to clutch at straws but do you think it could be because:

- I'm older?

- or because i don't think he has had much experience with girls and he knows i have been in a three year relationship with his brothers friend a couple of years ago?

- Because he was a bit drunk, he might assume I think he is always that outgoing?

- He's going away for three months in a couple of weeks?

 

(By the way I don't think he has much expereince with girls in general because there is only his father and two brothers because his mother died when he was quite young, and because he went to an all-boys school)

 

I just get the impression that he has low confidence and is possibly thinking, "why does she like me? What do I have to offer her?"

 

I just dunno what to think

[Momene]

It could be any/all of what you've said but you need to put him straight. I had no confidence at his age so I know what it's like.

[Karibo]

But I don't know I could go about putting him straight because I rarely see him and he's going away soon. Oh well, I'm not gunna rush anything or push it

[Momene]

But I don't know I could go about putting him straight because I rarely see him and he's going away soon. Oh well, I'm not gunna rush anything or push it

Sorry but if you don't you'll keep thinking about it.

 

Trust me on this one, I've got the T-shirt, I even designed it!

[Karibo]

Thanks guys you've been really helpful!