Confused???!!!!

[mr1977]

My partner and I have been together coming up for 3 years now. When we met she told me she had a `desire` for her lecturer, who was female. At the beginning this didn`t concern me as i thought this was just a 'crush', but as time progressed I realised that this wasn`t the case.

 

Her crush appeared more like an obsession, to which she agreed it was. Two years ago she left college because her obsessive behaviour towards her lecturer became out of hand. Before leaving my partner wrote her lecturer a letter, detailing why she had to leave.

 

We now have a 6 month old baby and her obsession with her lecturer has returned again.

 

Can anyone give me advice??

[Jinx]

Her crush appeared more like an obsession, to which she agreed it was. Two years ago she left college because her obsessive behaviour towards her lecturer became out of hand. Before leaving my partner wrote her lecturer a letter, detailing why she had to leave.

 

We now have a 6 month old baby and her obsession with her lecturer has returned again.

 

The obsession is a problem. Can she pinpoint the reason for this obsession with the lecturer? It would seem she already expressed her feelings by writing the letter, but maybe she still has the urge to do something face to face.

 

Nonetheless, she may just need help with the issue. As with anything if she is unable to cope with it individually (meaning without professional help) and it is interfering with the life you two have together, and especially her own to the point it is unhealthy and causing conflict she needs to see someone to help sort out the root of this sudden obsession.

 

Secondly, why did the obsession pop up again? Did she run into the lecturer again? Start college over?

[venus777]

i'd like to say it seems healthy at least that she is able to speak with you about it openly enough. and it seems like she at least tried to deal with it by leaving college. i guess at times, it can be hard to deal with things just by running from them instead of confronting them, like a ghost she has or something. there is probably a much deeper issue here than the lecturer. i'd really recommend going to therapy, maybe just her alone, maybe at times with you, because you need support to handle this as well...

[mr1977]

She has told me she has kinda had a thing about women since the age of 13.

Why a lecturer at college, she has no obvious idea. Perhaps its what you want but cannot have? Perhaps authoritarian figure, someone to dominate?

 

She's not sure why the her feelings for the lecturer resurfaced. Perhaps her body returning to normal balance after birth of the baby?