Be True To Yurself- just some thoughts

[venus777]

So... one of the things I've realized being single is that it's important to date someone that likes me for who I am, really who I am... and that I like too of course. Thing is, with past regrets and rejections and experiences many of us carry this inherent feeling with us that we aren't good enough, that we have to be cooler or harder or sexier or calmer or smarter or classier or more stylish or more hip or more... [fit in adjective] We spend all this time trying to be this other thing that we forget why we're even doing it to begin with.

How fun can it be to spend all your energy trying to be someone else or hide who you are? And how much more FUN is it to just be yourself. Like the most fun I have is when I'm kicking it with my friends, but sometimes dating can be a super intense interview where you're putting on your best self so that they'll like you enough to put up with the crap you'll give them later when they've already invested themselves in you... But then, what if you never can let down that mask? What if you are always trying to *behave* around them the way you think or they've expressed that you should behave? Like what are we, ten years old?? Do we need to seek constant approval from someone else to be who we are?

Or can we just be?? Isn't that what love is anyways? Actually liking someone for who they are, quirks and all, enough to put up with those things you don't like about them? And not try and change them all the time? Recognizing their autonomy as individuals to be who they are? But then WHY is it that if we can respect someone else for who they are that we can't just be Ourselves with them?

If we aren't who we are then we spend so much energy on it and we don't even ENJOY ourselves... I mean, don't you hate it when you go to a party and it feels like people are just snubbing you and no one will relax? I mean do you want to be in a RELATIONSHIP that's like an endless BAD PARTY????

Agh, I write this cause I've had my own experience with feeling like I'm a constant shortcoming to the person I THOUGHT that I loved (but it's ain't love if they don't love you for who you are), and also cause some of my women friends do the same darn thing as myself. And since men and women aren't all that different, really, some of them gotta be doing the same thing...

Why don't we just put the masks away and enjoy life, be who we are, as we are, if people don't like us for who we are, the truth will eventually surface anyways.... Just we'll have wasted all our time pretending instead of really getting to know someone...

[yeawutever]

Yes, it's very important to be myself and never act nor pretend someone you're not. The person has to fall in love with the real you and not with the lie.