Well yeah

[becallamjr]

My cousin's son was at my parents today, they were baby sitting. He was crying until I walked in, he stopped, looked up at me and gave me this huge smile. It honestly melted my heart, he reached up for me and I held him the whole time. If I tried to set him down he would start crying and put his hands back up, signaling me to pick him back up. When my folks tried to hold him, he buried his head into my chest. It was an absolutely amazing feeling. I was real close to being a father a little bit ago, but my ex had a miscarriage. I know deep down everything happens for a reason, but I ask myself everyday why I lost my chance to be a father. Also, it amazes me how children in their innocence can make your misery go away and at the same time make it worse. Just feeling a little down.

 

Yes, I know I posted this under suicide, but NO I'm NOT CONSIDERING IT!

 

I want to express an opinion to those who like to give advice in the self-injury/suicide areas.

 

If you come accross someone who has posted that they want to die, I have compiled a list of things you should NEVER say to someone going through this strenuous time.

 

Don't tell them they are being selfish or cowardly. There is nothing selfish or cowardly about suicide, if you are depressed or bipolar, then you understand the true pain. Whereas you may see it as selfish, but if you were in their shoes, is it selfish to keep going through the misery? You may think it is cowardly, but what's cowardly about ending something that is making you miserable? For those who say meds and therapy and activeness will help to make it better, I agree it helps. But the truth is, this "pain" is a lifetime.

 

Don't tell them not to be stupid or ignorant. You are being stupid and ignorant if you say this to them because you obviously don't know anything about it. It doesn't matter if your friend has been through it, you don;t know these people.

 

Don't use puns like "happiness is a choice" or "you have so much to live for", If happiness was a choice, don't you think we would choose to be happy? The pain is very real and can be unbearable.

 

Don't ever give up on helping.

 

If you are depressed or bipolar or have been through it at some point in your life, you all know what it feels like. At your worst moments, would you want anyone saying any of the above to you? For those who are not, learn all that you can and then you will be best prepared to help those who need help.

 

one more thing. Do let them know, that you are there for them and that you care. That could mean the difference between life and death, knowing you have at least one person who is rooting for you.

[AntiLove_SuperStar]

If you are depressed or bipolar or have been through it at some point in your life, you all know what it feels like. At your worst moments, would you want anyone saying any of the above to you?

 

one more thing. Do let them know, that you are there for them and that you care. That could mean the difference between life and death, knowing you have at least one person who is rooting for you.

 

Completely. It seems selfish, but when I really want to end it all, someone telling me I have so much to live for doesn't really work..if I believed that, I wouldn't have a problem!

[Dako]

Excellent post, Bill.

 

I only have one addition:

A person in crisis needs to be listened to.

We all have different needs.