Have I messed things up for good?!

[SteveNaive]

Hello to all of you...

 

Ok, I haven't posted for alomst two years, and now this is my second post within days...funny how things can change...

 

Anyways, I met a very nice girl at uni, who I did fancy a lot (see the link above for details). Last thursday I invited her to my place for dinner, we had some wine, a very nice and light conversation and eventually ended up kissing and cuddling for the rest of the night...

 

On sunday we went on another date, cinema with some of her friends, and she had offered to take me home afterwards. So when we finally arrived at my place, I asked her to stay for the night, which she happily agreed to...

 

However, I am afraid that today I messed things up BIG TIME...we went out on another date and I took her home afterwards, when she asked me to come up with her...and I said "NO"! Not expressly, but I somehow was scared all of a sudden, how quickly things were moving, so I told her, that I would love to, but I thought it would be better if I slept at my place...so eventually I went home. I could feel that she was disappointed to the least, and I felt really silly for doing this as soon as she had closed the door behind herself...

 

Now I am at my place, it's 4 am and I am trembling, wondering I should do... I have tried to call her right afterwards, but she did not pick up the phone. I guess she must be very upset with me for doing this. I would be!](*,) Right now I just feel so incredibly silly, or worse, downright stupid...I really do like her a lot...

[keenan]

Well, you probably confused her and you may have hurt her feelings. If I were in her position, I would be really happy to get a phone call from you around 9am, thanking me for last night and telling me that you're looking forward to seeng me again. Go ahead and invite her out again. Just explain that you really like her but you got scared about how fast things were moving. She'll understand. Relax--you probably gave her an evening of self-doubt, but you can make it up easily. Good luck!

[SteveNaive]

Hello keenan! Thanks for your advice. I guess I really did hurt her feelings. I tried to give her another phone call in order to tell her how I feel, and how much I would like to see her. However, seeing as I don't believe in hiding my caller ID she probably was aware it was me and did not pick up. I left her a message on her voicemail, asking her to call me back...

 

Edited: ...which she eventually did, telling me that she was not angry or upset at all. and that we'd still be talking. *phew*

[Lansing]

wow..... I am glad you posted this thread......

 

It got me thinking about my own situation. I had been over at this girls house a few times and we had been kissing/etc/etc and one time it was 3:00am other times 1:00am or even 5:00am and she asked me each time to stay over and each time I said "I think it is better that I go home" and, I kind of sensed that she felt a rejection... but.... I never really asked her about it.... or commented on it....

 

Anyway, maybe I was just overplaying it in my head and it wasn't significant.... if SHE eventually calls me back, well, I can talk to her about it (see my other thread)