How do I get through the barrier.

[surferboy]

Hi guys'

It's been a while. I used this forum a couple of years ago after my breakup. You guys all helped alot whether it was the advice or just reading your articles. My problem was we have a little girl together "who is the most prescious thing I have ever had".

After about a year of hurting things finally started changing for me, getting over my ex was so difficult as we had continuous contact, I also get on really well with her family.

Anyway a month ago, out of the blue I get a txt reading, "I think I still love you". I am gobsmacked, so she says she wants to try again. And for a couple of weeks it's all good. Then things start getting weird. She says she has things to deal with which are none of my business, so unlike last time when I got on at her not to let us break up, I thought i'd give her space.

She seems has become very independent, and I found that i wasn't hearing from her and it was me who had to make contact, even just to say hello.

Then a week ago I receive another txt saying "sorry I do still love you but don't want a relationship" all those old feelings came back and now I find myself miserable again.

Another quote was "we've tryed but it hasn't worked", this is bull as she hasn't tryed at all......it all seems soooo wrong.

 

To say I am Baffled is an understatement.....we had a little argument over the phone and she mentioned that she just doesn't trust men!!! She is happy on her own! AAAAARRRRRGGGGHHHH

 

It is soooo frustrating, I feel like relocating and just getting away from her. But my little girl is too important to me.

 

Should I just forget about it, or be patient and hope she changes her mind again???????

[Darketernal]

The 'problem' lies in her court. Not yours.

 

This means that if 'she' is gone out of your life, the 'problem' has gone out of your life.

 

All the reason to let her 'stay' out of your life. Close yourself and prevent from having contact with this woman as it only ruins your life. It certainly hasn't brought you happyness. Not in the past and not in the future, so why would you allow yourself to admit to a pathway that brings you misery?

 

She is a gateway to misery in the way she is now. Bringing her back into your life, only means that you passed the gateway and are walking to that same misery.

 

If i where you id let her stay the 'hell' out of my life. I think there are a few wires loose in her head. Now that you are gone i think she is noticing what she is missing.

 

(she just doesn't trust men!!! She is happy on her own!)

 

Ya thats why she calls you and says that she misses you ,lol. These are quite some contradictions. And that said she is 'full' of contradictions.

 

If you want her in your life again then thats up to you, i certainly wouldn't.

[surferboy]

I kinda agree, I would love to turn round and say for once and for all get out of my life, but the sad fact is I love her, since we broke up I cannot have a meaningful relationship with anyone else.

And also for the sake of my little girl I want to be there. I know if she would give it a serious go it would work itself out, I want to help her through her troubles, be there for her and make her happy. But she's so stubborn.

You are right though, she hardly makes me happy.

[markm]

She felt a moment of weakness and knew she could come to you.

Once she saw that you still liked her, she felt better about herself and backed off.

She is selfish.

She doesn't care about your feelings at all.

You were probably doing OK, then she opens up the wound giving you hope, and then she rejects you.

Thus, leaving you feeling close to the way you felt just after the break.

What a selfish * * * * *.

Having a daughter really makes things tough.

You should tell her you want to see other people, and things between you 2 are not going to work.

Bamn! You're in the driver seat.

[surferboy]

Yeah, everything seems to be her, her, her.

Unless she wants something I'm never involved. But she has been through a rough time so I understand her hesitation, she has changed so much but now and again I see the old girl I first met. Just wish I could be there for her.

 

Meeting other girls isn't a problem, over the last two years I have but I just have no interest, I don't even want to tell my ex in case it has a negative effect. Well saying that there isn't much positives.

 

Now when I try and talk to her even just to make sure we can still be friends she doesn't want to know. This hurts the most.

 

Love is a powerful tool....it can also be a nasty affliction.

Thanks guys.

[make_up_your_mind]

Dark Eternal, you ain't actually banned, are you???