RayF Posted February 23, 2006 Share Posted February 23, 2006 I went out on my first date with this girl last night and I'm finding it a bit hard to read, basically i just wanted someone else oppinion. I'm one of those guys you have to hit over the head with a brick to see if the girl is interested. When i asked her out shje was eager to accept and seemed quite enthused. I offered to pick her up and she preferred that. With the date, I didn't get any negative vibes, none amazingly positive but i hardly know this girl at this point so it was pretty small talky stuff. We went out for dinner and the conversation was pretty solid, had a decent flow and a lot to talk about. She had her full attention on me, good eye contact and smiled a lot and would make as much an effort to ask questions to me as i would to her. Seemed quite interested when i talked. Not a whole lot of awkward silences (and any were short lived) but not a lot of fun flirting either, we both felt a bit of pressure i think though as it was a setup from a mutual friend. She was surprised it was as late as it was and felt she needed to go because she had to get up early for work as it was a weeknight (i don't know if i should take this as a bad sign) but she wasn;t exactly eager to go, immidiatly. (we had been togeether for three hours at this point). The way we left things was decen but not great. We didn't set anything up for a future date off the bat but she did give me a hug and say "i'll talk with you soon". She seems a bit more reserved than my last few girls i dated who basically initiated all future dates themselves but that dosnt mean this girls not interested right? My friend said he thinks it was a bad sign she didn't invite me up but i dissagree, not everyone is like that and she didn;t seem to be that type of girl (which is a good thing in my eyes anyway). I'm thinking i'll calling her maybe tonight or tomorrow and asking her out on a second date. Good idea or no? Link to comment
PassionatePices Posted February 23, 2006 Share Posted February 23, 2006 Ask her out again and let us what happens. Link to comment
mystik Posted February 23, 2006 Share Posted February 23, 2006 I agree. Ask her out again. Link to comment
NJRon Posted February 23, 2006 Share Posted February 23, 2006 Yeah, I think it was a decent first date. I would ignore your friend entirely. I have a third date with a girl tomorrow and I have had to do the asking each time. However, she tells me how much she likes me and is very enthusiastic. So, in all, I just think everyone is different. Takes a little getting used to, but not all bad to want the guy to actually be a bit assertive. I would call her today instead of tomorrow. But, that's just me. If you have the time of course. If she says yes to the second date, if it goes well, try to get a yes for a third date toward the end of the second. you don't need to get a firm commitment, but just a yes to 'I'd like to see you again'... Good luck. Link to comment
friscodj Posted February 23, 2006 Share Posted February 23, 2006 Hey Ray, this sounds very much like a date I just had... The light's green buddy, ask her out again. Just keep in mind this is so soon and you have no idea what's really going on with this woman. Dating can be full of surprises... So I say keep up the efforts, keep the door open, but for now, keep the expectations and hopes low... Link to comment
babypink61 Posted February 23, 2006 Share Posted February 23, 2006 I don't think her not inviting you in was a bad sign . . . I dun usually invite guys into my place after the first date. And yeah, like everyone else said, you should def call her to ask her out again . . . I think you should wait after a day or two though so it doesn't seem like you're being pushy or desperate. Sometimes girls like it when guys initiates the second date. Link to comment
friscodj Posted February 23, 2006 Share Posted February 23, 2006 I like to call her the next day to thank her for the date, and suggest we do it again sometime (assuming it was good)...then a few days later get back to her with definite plans...just a thought there... Link to comment
RayF Posted February 23, 2006 Author Share Posted February 23, 2006 Thanks for the replies guys this makes me feel a little more sure about the situation. I think I will calll her tonight and do as you suggested, thank her and suggest we do it again sometime, then get back to her in a few days. This will show her i'm still interested but not desperate or clingly. I think it's maybe a good sign this date did't go as smoothly (or just more at a natural pace) as my last few first dates. as clearly interested as the girls were right off the bat they turned out to be terrible relationships when i started dating them steady. Link to comment
NJRon Posted February 24, 2006 Share Posted February 24, 2006 Yeah, it's interesting. The girl I just started to date is very different. With my last girlfriends, we woudl have been like madly in love with each other and seeing each other almost every day. This on, been 2 weeks and I have seen her twice. We talk on the phone or messenger a bit. A sms every now and then. Nothing spastic or clingy. It's pretty relaxing actually. Link to comment
friscodj Posted February 24, 2006 Share Posted February 24, 2006 Yeah, it's interesting. The girl I just started to date is very different. With my last girlfriends, we woudl have been like madly in love with each other and seeing each other almost every day. This on, been 2 weeks and I have seen her twice. We talk on the phone or messenger a bit. A sms every now and then. Nothing spastic or clingy. It's pretty relaxing actually. Glad to hear things are working out for you Ron! You deserve it for sure... Link to comment
friscodj Posted February 24, 2006 Share Posted February 24, 2006 I think it's maybe a good sign this date did't go as smoothly (or just more at a natural pace) as my last few first dates. as clearly interested as the girls were right off the bat they turned out to be terrible relationships when i started dating them steady. Oh man have you got this right. In the past, I have fallen hard straight off for women only to get hooked and stuck in a nightmare...and I'm still waking up from the last one... Good insight Ray...keep up the good work... Link to comment
prozzack Posted February 24, 2006 Share Posted February 24, 2006 you guys make it sound so eazy Link to comment
RayF Posted February 24, 2006 Author Share Posted February 24, 2006 Well i decided to give her a shout, she didn't pick up her cell, but i called from my home number which she didn't have and i didn't want to be rude and not leave a message if she looked up the number so i left one, although i would have preferred to talk to her in person. It was short and to the point, causal, just sayin hey and wanted to thank you for last night, I had a real good time and would love to do it agian sometime, you can give me a shout whenever, talk to you soon. So we'll see if she returns my call or not, i got no indication last night that she wouldn't or thsat she wan't interested.But If she dosn't i'll try her agian in a few days, once. If still no dice then i'll just cut my losses and move on. We'll see what happens. Link to comment
thefoot Posted February 24, 2006 Share Posted February 24, 2006 I would see her once, MAYBE twice more and if you still arent feeling it by then, well its probably not the right one for you. Link to comment
RayF Posted February 27, 2006 Author Share Posted February 27, 2006 Well heres my update. So i called her back the next day left a msg etc. like i mentioned above 2 days later she calls back but i miss her call. She lleavs a msg saying she has to go to something tonight that will last till 10 then to give her a shout after. So i calll her around 11. No answer, leave a msg and get no reply. What is this not interested or playing herd to ge? Either way i don't have time for it. Link to comment
gesssho0o Posted March 3, 2006 Share Posted March 3, 2006 She's probably just busy... she did have a life before she met you, ya know! Just chill... but if she doesn't return your last call (and with a legitimate excuse or some sort of penitence for missing your call), kick her to the curb. Any updates since then Ray? Link to comment
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