worring

[sabena]

I have come to the deep conclusion about why i am jealous, possessive and stuff like that...because I worry..

 

Now i know you will recommend to me the book Overcoming worry and fear and I will get this but can anyone give any instant tips on overcoming worry. I say things to people and my boyfriend in particular and then worry about what I have said and this eats away at me, and I end up going on and on about it....

 

please help

[glassbell]

I don't know, I can only say that it is something typical feminine. I do it too!

 

What exactly are you afraid of when you worry? For instance if you worry about something you've said to your boyfriend?

[sabena]

hello thanks for the reply.

 

I will give an example, last evening i was talking with my bf and i happened to say to him that sometimes I don't know where I am with him, in that sometimes I feel that I am just a friend who he happens to sleep with. It came out before I knew it and he felt a little hurt. I tried to reassure him and explain it a little better but I worry now that he will be churning this over and over and will be upset.

 

When we woke this morning I checked he was ok and have sent him an email just saying sorry for not thinking before I speak. But I worry that as I am not seeing him for the weekend (he will be away) that he will hate me or leave me...regardless of the fact that he told me he loved me...

[dviewed]

You asked for some quick tips...here are some things I do when I realize my worrying (fretting?) is getting out of hand, i. e., affecting my life...

- Sort through the worries going 'round in your head and take them one by one to 'de-fuse' them. For example, the one about something you said to your boyfriend...ask yourself, "Have I made myself as clear as I can...would continuing to try & explain myself make it better?" Answer honestly (no right or wrong...just what you know to be true) and then let it go.

- Learn to let go...sounds like a simple concept, but the ability to let go is a huge achievement. If you can tell yourself, I've done all I can for now and it's (whatever your worry is) out of my hands, so whatever will be will be, you might feel better.

Not saying this can be accomplished overnight, but work on it and with time you may do a little less worrying.

- It really is true that worrying solves nothing…taking whatever action you can & then letting it go is the best thing you can do for yourself.

Good luck!!!