On the edge, need something

[MR]

Long story very short.

 

 

I was an idiot, more than once to the one i love.

We've been through so much over just one year it's untrue.

We saw each other a lot considered getting back together, I got very drunk, ruined the whole thing!

Asked for a final answer she of course said not right now. She is thinking of someone else already.

 

The details are not important. It's the pain, stress and anger i feel now. I can't heal, move on, eat, sleep anything. So far I've lost around a stone and half in weight and i was thin to begin with! Basically i'm just worried about myself I guess. Nothing matters and it's all unreal without her. She told me so much which feels like lies now and I want nothing more than to sleep and not wake up in all honesty.

My remaining will for life will break soon and i feel i'm going to do something really stupid or at least try.

I don't know what i need but her, advice of any sort would be more than i have now.

Thx.

[kdreger]

Wait!

 

I've been where you are. I felt the loss of hope, the not caring about life and the thoughts of wanting the pain to just end. Thing is that when people tell you that it gets better... it's true!

 

You have to be strong and ride this out. Every day you last is one day closer to surviving. You have to remember as well that the future isn't written. It's quite possible that some day in the future you two might get back together. Not today, next week, next month or 6 months from now but it may happen. If you end it all... you'll never get the chance to find out.

 

You have to stop taking all the blame as well - you have to forgive yourself and let go. Do me a favor. Give time a chance.

[MR]

Thx for the speedy reply.

Having been through this i'm sure you know that right now that general advice means nothing. Sorry to sound harsh but this pain won't stop and there is nothing i can do! Sorry... mini mad moment. All comments are gratefully received. I'm trying man, god i'm trying.

[kdreger]

Hey, don't apologize. I agree - all advice means crap where you are. It doesn't help the pain. Trust me though. I thought my ex was the one! She was awesome. What my problem was is that I thought I'd never do as good as her again - that I lost my chance for happiness. Not true. In time, you'll see. I got this kind of advice from friends and family and it didn't help but in time - I discovered it's true.

[MR]

I just feel like i put her through hell because i was weak and considered my ex for 6 months. Don't know what to do.

 

I have a box of her things and presents etc. What do you guys think is the best course of action? Shall i throw it all away and try to forget? Right now it seems so wrong and so hard.

[solstice48]

I've looked over that same edge as you & I saw the same darkness of pain your feeling in your heart. It seems like it'll go on forever & the one you thought was it is gone. But you've got to hold onto your hope. I've been told the same thing about giving it time, going out with friends etc. & its tough to take the first steps away from that edge to do those things but you can do it. There is someone out there for you! Maybe it will be her, so don't do anything that will take away the chance of that happening. Don't blame yourself for what happened, we've all done things we've regretted but its all part of learning. Try changing somethings in yourself that might interest her in returning. Just don't give up, you've got your whole life ahead of you and this is just one small part of it & it will get better!

[raggamuffin]

Believe it or not time does heal all things, you wont wake up one day and feel pain all gone away, it will happen slowly things will get better and then they may get worse for a while. I wont give you any advice cause I know when this happened to me I didnt listen to anyone we need to make our own mistakes to learn anything. Just remember everything will be okay in the end so..if its not okay then its not the end.