Broken Hearted

[Jade12]

I have been with the same guy for 2 years and we were planning to get married in Sept.

I just found out today that He cheated on me once with someone that I know. She says that she is now 9 weeks preg. and claims that its his and he says they only slept together 3 weeks ago.

I love this man with all my heart and I want to marry him and have his children, on the other hand, if hes cheated once, will he do it again?

what if this child is his? I have so many questions running through my head. I want her to have an abortion if its his. On the other had, Im agianst abortion.

Im so confused, Should I just walk away? Or do I follow my heart and decided when I find out if its his child or not?

HELP

[kdreger]

Yikes!

 

It doesn't get much harder than that.

 

Worst case scenario:

 

You, of course, know that you have no say over the child if it's his. She can choose to have it and then your man is linked to them forever. She might have the child to spite him or try to get him. A DNA test will prove or disprove it. I suggest you convince him to get one. Otherwise, he will be obligated to financially raise that child for 18 years! As well, he should not sign *ANYTHING*. This is very serious.

 

Honestly, this is something so big that it might be hard to recover from. That child will be a reminder of his infidelity and that child will always be around if he fulfils his obligations as a father.

 

Better case scenario:

 

It's not his. The problem is that he still fooled around. Can you trust him that this was the only time? Has there been others? How do you regain that trust. That is what is important! Why did he fool around? Can this problem be fixed.

 

Summary:

 

You have to be strong now and think about yourself. Do you want to be with someone like that or be around this situation? It's not healthy for you emotionally or spiritually. You might want to take a break and tell him that fate will decide what happens. He might also need to lose you for awhile to really understand how significant his decision was - it was very selfish of him.

[tkdmask]

You have to be strong now and fight through this . If this man loved you, and shared tireless nights with you, he would not be with another . You must lift your head up high and see whats going on. This sounds to me like something you need to step back and evaluate. Ask yourself, "he has done it before, will he do it again if i am pregnant?" But yet keep in mind that you two are not married so there is no real commitment from the two of you. Just a strong relationship. Question him tonight. Find out if he is for you, and put everything out on the table. Find out if you want to pursue this relationship with him. ask him, "why have you done it? i just want to know honey. you worried me, i want to start a family with you and have your beutiful children, i want you to be their father, will this happen again, promise me you wont do it again?" something like that will do. You know best. I wish you luck tonight.

 

take care,

[Jade12]

Thanks for the help. I went and talked to the woman that he cheated on me with and It turns out that theres a 50% chance that this child is his.

I decided that I am going to stick by him, He wrote me a letter and told me that I was the only one that he loved and that he knows that he will have to gain my trust again. He wants me to teach him how and that if I want him to leave, he will.

 

I asked him to go to counseling with me and he said that he would. I think if I can have some help to work through this, it might turn out ok. If this child turns out to be his, he will step up to the plate and be the father.

 

I just hope we love each other enought to make this work.

Thanks for you great words of advice in these bad times.

Jade12