Will I be ok?

[dizziest]

I will try to make this as brief as possible.

 

I met my ex in may 2002. We had a very turbulant relationship that finally came to an end in December 2003 tho we had 1 night in March 04 then I didnt see her for 18 months. She got back in touch in august last year saying how unhappy she was with her current boyfriend etc. and after a few weeks of texting and flirting she told me she was leaving him. I met up with her and after a few days we were back together (madness I know, i should of known better). I had alot to make up for and I had been living with guilt of the way I treated her in our first relationship for a long time and thought that I could make up for it.

 

Anyway after a few weeks we had our first argument and she ran off back to her ex saying "I hadnt changed, the past etc etc". After a couple of days she text me again saying she had made a huge mistake and could we try again. I really stupidly let her come see me and we slowly started up again. A month passed and she told me she was gonna go stay with her aunt and cousins for a few days (which happens to be quite close to him) and for the first 4 nights her phone was off which made me think something was going on and I asked her after the 4 days if she had been seeing him. She said "no but the fact u asked me shows im still insecure" etc.

 

Long story short she ended it that day then spent the next month telling me she hadnt seen him and she was making plans to come back down and start a job(she had been having interviews) and we should meet up and take it slow. It was a lie, she had starting seeing him after she ended it (I asked her aunt). This was beggining of november. After I found out she went back to him fully and blew me off.

 

I spent the next month getting over it and started seeing other women, we weren't in contact much, we stopped talking altogether in jan but saturday just gone she text me saying "I still love you, ive missed you more than anything I wish things were different". I said "you wish things were different thats why you havent done jack to make it better" we spent the last few days talking, she had left the guy again cos he spent valentines day (and her b day) at a football game.

 

She wanted to meet up with me and I didnt let her, I said if you are serious about leaving him and seeing about us again then youll let the dust settle for at least a few weeks then we can talk. Today she told me shes going upto her aunts cos she has lost her independence going back to her mums house and her job is up there but It was obvious to me that she hates being alone and wanted to use me to get back at him; thou i am sure she has very deep feelings about me. I think she loves us both.

 

Am I gonna start suffering again? I know ive done the right thing but I dont wanna start regretting my decision cos even tho im not in love with her anymore, she is the only girl ive ever loved. Any support or advice would be great cos I know im gonna start feeling bad soon.

 

(I havent given all the details but you get the idea)

[Echo]

You'll be OK....as long as you have NO contact with this woman. She sounds FAR too problematic. Too much drama. I would suggest moving on....she is only going to cause you massive trouble.

[Itsok]

Friend, of course you'll be ok.

 

You won't regret your decision. At first you'll feel uneasy about it but you have done the right thing. All you need is a little time, some relaxation, and no contact.

 

The best thing you can do right now is look after yourself, and give yourself some slack and a pat on the back...you have done the right thing.

 

I don't think she loves you, rather she loves the drama associated with playing the two of you guys. She craves that attention, and it's not right to 'give into' that as it only teaches her that the world is a stage for drama queens.

 

Keep your head high, and it will be alright!

[dizziest]

Ive never looked at it like that, the more I think about it the stronger I feel. I just want to know what it was in her that I thought I loved cos I havent found it since...

[Itsok]

You probably also liked the excitement associated with her. People like herself normally give off a lot of 'energy' although it isn't always positive. You probably also liked having to fight for her, and that you were chosen over someone else.

 

Keeping you constantly on your toes is fun for a while but proves exhausting in the long run.

 

Don't beat yourself up over it by any means. Just learn from it and move forward

[NJRon]

You probably liked the fact that she kept coming back. She would leave... your self-esteem would go down... then she would come back making you feel like you were better than the other guy... and your self-esteem would go up again.

 

It's a horrible cycle...

[dizziest]

This is the first time since the august that it was me that wanted to say goodbye and not be together and I feel so much stronger. I know I might miss her a bit but I know it will just be the attention i miss.

 

I want someone that respects me, she said I am insecure but reading some other peoples posts makes me think the things she said and did to me made me feel insecure.

 

I will keep coming to these boards cos it makes me feel lucky that Im not going thru some of the horrible things other people are. I know that sounds selfish but back in november I was going through similar but I saw the light at the end of the tunnel and now Im stronger because of it, I managed to say no!! She is not good enough for me. There is hope for everyone.

[NJRon]

I think that's an awesome attitude.

[vesper]

finally!! some positive 'i am over it' kind of attitude...right on!!