is money a problem

[cisco_phil]

Hey guys,

 

This may seem like a weird post I dunno but hear me out, I'm a student and I don't know if any of you are but one of the biggest issues in a students life is money-or lack of it lol. I survive and enjoy a decent sociallife but am not loaded and definitely have to budget. I want to start a relationship not with anyone in particular but start dating kinda thing and am a bit put off by my money barrier. I am a generous guy and like to buy people things/ spread the money I have. I am worried that if I get with someone, I wont be able to spend as much on them or go out with them as much as I would like and as much as my friends around me. I'm not really a one night stand kinda guy and thats not what I have in mind so dont suggest that but I'd just like to know if anybody thinks money will pose a big problem. Maybe there are some people in similar situations? I really dont want to be put off by this and need some encouragement.

 

cheers,

 

Phil x

[ratherbesailing]

Phil -

 

Some girls will understand and not be bothered, some will expect the world and be disappointed when you can't provide it. Plenty of each type of girl around.

 

PS - it isn't much different when you are older and long out of school

[Jinx]

In most cases people easily understand the money issue when it comes to College dating. From the pairs I've observed in College dating, it is the bare essentials type of dating unless you have parents to help you along, budgets are essential.

 

I suppose the key would be to have money which you save strictly for outtings such as Date/Restaurant and Holiday Gifts. Make a list about how much you can and cannot spend without getting yourself in trouble.

 

In College especially with Universities in the more expensive cities you cannot expect to live on the upper end all the time, and have to improvise on dates which are fun for both you, the partner, and wallet friendly. One of the popular things here, is finding events with free admission that is fun and date worthy. Make purchases for the partner when the budget or holiday says so, impulsive buying is just going to come back and bite, hard and usually presents don't make a relationship anymore stable, anyhow, can't buy the love element.

 

So I suppose, just budget a relationship like you would your monthly bills and living expense and put money aside for specific purposes and use wisely.

[Slot]

Hey cisco,

Dont worry about not having money, alot of people are in your situation right now. You dont want to be with a girl who looks at your possesions or how much money you have. You want to find a girl who likes you for you, your personality and who you are on the inside. The gifts and all that is just a bonus.

[keenan]

Women who are cool enough to be worth your time will focus lots, lots more on your behavior than your wallet. Money doesn't have anything to do with generosity. As I type this, I realize that it's going to sound terrible, but I'll try to explain it anyway. In a financial sense, a woman will understand that you're spending a decent percentage of your income on her--but the absolute dollar amount doesn't matter. I notice whether a guy is nice to waiters, if he tips a decent amount, and if he tries to 'treat me' in his own way. I unconsciously scale that to his income, and frankly don't care if that means spending the afternoon at the zoo, then splitting a pizza and a bottle of cheap red wine on the floor of his apartment, or going to the sympony, then sharing seared black-pepper scallops and a 120 dollar bottle of champagne before heading to his swank downtown condo. I've been in both situations with my husband, and I cared lot more about his love, kindness, and generosity toward ME than any of the trappings. A dime in the tip jar, a fiver in the tip jar--it's the sharing with other humans, and especially your S.O., that matters.

 

And now that my marriage has dissolved and I'm back on a grad student salary, I'm MORE that happy to split a pizza!

[atomic40]

Yeah man,

 

Don't worry about money. I know people who make a ton and still have problems. It is not the answer to happiness. I went to school, have a BS, and still do not make that much. My gf isn't into money or possessions and those who value these things over important relationships should be avoided.

[cisco_phil]

thanks for the help, my confidence is boosted alot

 

xxx