Anonymous Valentines Day messages by email?

[pip]

What do people think of sending anonymous Valentines Day messages by email (you know, e-cards, etc)?

 

My story is this: the guy I like has a girlfriend and is about to leave the country. We've always had this major crush on eachother but obviously nothing can happen (and I accept that). However, I may never see him ever again, and I feel like I at least want him to know that I like him. Even though we can never be together, it'd still be nice if he knew how much he means to me.

 

So I'm thinking of sending an anonymous e-Card. I think it should be anonymous because he has a girlfriend and I'd just look like an idiot if I told him directly (plus I don't have the courage, so telling him directly is not an option here!).

 

What do you think? I figure it's a bit of fun, and who doesn't like having a secret admirer? Or is it really corny and immature?

[hk87]

No, I think it is a really good idea- I'm considering it myself!! Since he is about to leave I think you should tell him. Why does he have a g/f if you both like each other? Is there a y reason you can't be together?

 

Hk87

[shes2smart]

Ok, I'll take the opposing viewpoint.

 

Other than getting your feelings off your chest, what would be the purpose?

 

I mean, why now? Thus far you've respected the fact that he has a gf inspite of the crush you've had on him, but now that he's leaving it's ok to profess your attraction (albeit anonymously)? That doesn't make sense to me....

 

Why do you want to confess your feelings to someone who is unavailable (due to the gf) and who will also become geographically undesirable in the near future? If he's got a good relationship with his gf, don't ya think he might mention this anonymous Valentine to her? Or think SHE sent it?

 

I would see nothing wrong with a brief note (NOT anonymous) wishing him well in his future endeavors, saying you'll miss him when he leaves and express a desire to keep in touch. But why send something that could stir up a lot of crap before his departure?

 

IMO, expressing any romantic sentiment towards him is a no-win situation for you...primarily because of his existing relationship and secondly because even if that wasn't in the picture, he's not going to physically be around to start something with you.

[pip]

I'm glad you say that shes2smart because I need someone to point the bad side out to me! (all my friends have been like, 'yeah! do it!').

 

I guess it's really just a fun thing. It's not like I'm totally depressed and torn up over him - I've learned to accept his girlfriend, so I'm cool, and I don't think this will 'stir up' any emotional crap for me. I guess this is just a little playful thing. I don't want to cause anyone any harm - I just want him to know there's someone who likes him. Maybe it will put a smile on his face

[shes2smart]

But it might for him though.

 

Yup. That's what I meant. I know I wouldn't want to be the gf in the following conversation:

 

him: Hey, baby, thanks for the e-card

gf e-card?

[mystik]

I don't think you should do it either. Are you positive you are as "cool" and accepting of his girlfriend as you say you are? Nothing will good will come out of this, and as you said, he already knows you like him. My boyfriend of a year just dumped me because he started falling for a good friend of his a couple of weeks ago. I for one, can forgive him for falling for someone else, one can't help how they feel. What I wouldn't be able to forgive is if that girl had been telling him "for fun" how she likes him for her own amusement and satisfaction. A Valentine Day's card isn't like a Christmas card (which you send to everyone and anyone). The connatations that come with it are entirely different. If you know he has a girlfriend, then he doesn't need any more admirers, secret or not. Even if he really does like you, it is not fair to his girlfriend. And if he is the type to enjoy this kind of attention without any regard of his girlfriend's feelings, well I'd hope she figures out what kind of guy he is soon. Maybe that is what you are looking for? I agree with the other posters, there really is no point in sending it.

[Unknown123]

I don't specialise in relationships, but I would tell him in person. I'd want to know if somebody felt that way about me, even if nothing would come of it.