PRSOV Posted February 12, 2006 Share Posted February 12, 2006 Hi, I decided to post this here as I thought it would be a little more appropriate Around a year ago I started to date this girl by the name of Jenna. We were friends for around three months before we actually admitted that we might have feelings for each other. Anyway our relationship only went on for about a month when I realised that she wasn't the girlfriend that I had been looking for and so decided to break up with her... She didn't take it well at all and she was one of those people who took everything extremely serious and I later found out she has mental problems to which her psychologist has prescribed her drugs. We went out two more times after we broke up which was due to her trying to force me to go out with her that I finally called it quits. We argued all the time, and then one day it got to the point where she even changed her mobile phone number to try and separate us but then ended up giving it to me three weeks later at the train station. Anyway this is my problem... She started to date someone who use to be my best mate around a month ago... and because of this certain things happened and we are no longer friends and to which is think to some extent that she is only seeing him to hold onto me in a way. She still calls me all the time at 2am in the morning to call me stupid names because she goes out gets drunks and sometimes takes drugs, she cuts herself when she is alone to bring attention... and now she is harassing my new girlfriend by bringing up everything that her and I did together and not to mention telling my new girlfriend that she is still in love with me and that I am still in love with her... it seems she will stop at nothing to try and break my girlfriend and I up because she is still infatuated with me. I have been ignoring her text messages and e-mails for the last two to three weeks but she still keeps on harassing me and my girlfriend. I was so good to her in the past with her problems and I use to talk to her all the time and spend time listening to her but now it's just getting totally out of hand and I want her out of my life and my girlfriend's... Any advice? because ignoring her constantly doesn't seem to be working... and speaking with her boyfriend about what she had been saying to my new girlfriend didn't seem to work... and I am scared that my girlfriend is going to listen to her and we will break up... because that is what my ex ultimately wants to do... ruin my life by getting between me and my best friend and now with my girlfriend... Please help? PRSOV Link to comment
nenez Posted February 12, 2006 Share Posted February 12, 2006 Hi Try three simple things. 1. Change your number and dont give it to her or her boyfriend. 2, try going to different places so that you and your girlfriend can have some space 3. Be totally open and honest with your new girlfriend about all of it. In time she will give up. If she tries to contact you or give you her number or get yours resist it. Make it completely clear to her that you wish to have nothing to do with her and stick to it. I assume part of this is because you are all in a similar group ie schol or social group that you cant change. This can be very very hard. But rememeber, this matteres very little to any of your friends, its emotional and social wallpaper. it only matters to the three or four of you in the main frame. So keep it that way, don'tt ry to get everyone else involved. If she tries this, they will think less of her and more of you. Good luck Nenez Link to comment
fishrrshortae Posted February 12, 2006 Share Posted February 12, 2006 Let both Jenna and her boyfriend know that you are going to call the police if she doesn't stop harassing you, then don't speak to her any more after that. At least then, she got a warning. IF you have to, go to the local police department and tell them about her. They may have a police officer call her and tell her not to call you any more. Make sure that you are not antagonizing her by responding to her phone calls/txts/emails. Keep anything you can, however, as proof of her harassment (emails, messages, etc). These are things that you can do to show YOUR girlfriend that you are doing whatever you can to get her out of your life. Link to comment
RandomAdvisor Posted February 12, 2006 Share Posted February 12, 2006 Let both Jenna and her boyfriend know that you are going to call the police if she doesn't stop harassing you, then don't speak to her any more after that. At least then, she got a warning. IF you have to, go to the local police department and tell them about her. They may have a police officer call her and tell her not to call you any more. Make sure that you are not antagonizing her by responding to her phone calls/txts/emails. Keep anything you can, however, as proof of her harassment (emails, messages, etc). These are things that you can do to show YOUR girlfriend that you are doing whatever you can to get her out of your life. I agree,with all of this. Give her one warning (which she will probably ignore) and then go to the police when she contacts you again. Get a restraining order. Link to comment
PRSOV Posted February 12, 2006 Author Share Posted February 12, 2006 Thanks a lot for the advice, much appreciated Link to comment
Lady Bugg Posted February 12, 2006 Share Posted February 12, 2006 PRSOV... Definetly let her know in NO uncertain terms that what she is doing is wrong and against the law. She is harassing you. Tell her if she contacts you again you WILL press charges. Hopefully this will help..but if she persists....take legal action against her. Link to comment
PRSOV Posted February 12, 2006 Author Share Posted February 12, 2006 I know what she is doing is wrong, it just seems really far out to go to the police or press charges... I don't really have all that much proof because I just ignore her most of the time thinking she would eventually give up... It's a good idea, next time she does try and establish contact with me I will tell her if she does try it again I will go to the police... Last night she goes out gets drunk with her boyfriend and met some guy with the name "hugh asse" or something so she got him to call me from a private cell phone number and talk garbage... call me names and I could hear her laughing in the background...and this is at 2am in the morning when I was sleeping... for f*ck sake if she's going to take my best mate then she could at least leave me alone but no she's too f*cked in the head to do that... excuse my english... thanks a lot anyway... Link to comment
Lady Bugg Posted February 12, 2006 Share Posted February 12, 2006 PRS... Look up under the definition of stalking.....she IS in fact STALKING you. I have been stalked by someone in a much more serious manner. If you have asked this person to NOT contact you by ANY means and they persist..then they are stalking you. The laws are much more strenuant than they used to be on this subject. Don't think the police will think it's "far fetched". Stalking starts out small...and always escalates. It is YOUR right to live your life in peace and without the intrusion of someone who just can't take the hint. Seriously. Research the definition of harassment and stalking....know your rights. Link to comment
PRSOV Posted February 12, 2006 Author Share Posted February 12, 2006 Yeah I know, my mum said to stay away because she will probably try and kill me... but yeah I guess it's a bit more serious than I first thought...thanks for making me aware! Link to comment
crossflow Posted February 12, 2006 Share Posted February 12, 2006 Turn your phone off or put it on silent when you go to bed. In fact just switch it off and leave it in another room. Don't answer it because she is proberbly only doing it because she knows that you will answer it and that you will get upset not to mentio you end up tired becuase firstly you get woken at 2am and then you proberbly have trouble getting back to sllep afterwards because you are upset. After a while she will give up and even if she doesn't you wont know because you will be sleeping I'd also try telling her that trying to split you and your current girlfriend up is firstly pointless because even if she did you still wouldn't go back with her and secondly it's just pushing you and your new girlfriend closer and once she realises that she might actually stop doing it. I'd be distancing myself from her big time and do what someone else suggested, take your new girl friend places that she won't be and build up your relationship with her, when she see's how mature you are handling this and the fact you are treating her right, your ex will be able to cause little damage to your new relationship. Link to comment
RandomAdvisor Posted February 12, 2006 Share Posted February 12, 2006 I know what she is doing is wrong, it just seems really far out to go to the police or press charges... I don't really have all that much proof because I just ignore her most of the time thinking she would eventually give up... You have plenty of proof. If necessary the police can go into your cell phone records, and that will show how often she calls you, and what hours. In addition to that, you should start keeping a journal. Write down everytime she harasses you in person. The date, the time, the place, what she said, and who witnessed it. Link to comment
PRSOV Posted February 13, 2006 Author Share Posted February 13, 2006 I know I spoke with my mum about it, she think that it is pointless going to the police because they can't do anything until the biatch actually does something like attempt to kill me which I wouldn't put it past her... I'm taking my gf away up the coast for two nights next week so hopefully that will be nice and my ex will piss off and leave me alone now lol thanks for everything guys... Link to comment
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