question

[yay2008]

im not really sure how to help my friend, she keeps saying that she wants to stop cutting, but yet at the same time, she keeps spiraling out of control with drugs and alcohol, and only in high school. plus she's pretty much failing school, which is somthing that she never would have done. iv tried to explain that shes hurting herself and everyone that cares about her with her behavor, but she just says "oh well, if they have a prblm with it, then its their loss." and then other times shes all positive, and believes that she can straighten up. so idk anymore. but the drugs are what have me worried, i mean prbly 8 out of the last 10 times iv talked to her, shes been high. i dont want to loose my friend, but its killing me to watch her do this to herself. im not sure if this was the correct place for this, but i need advice.

[good_charlotte_freak2]

wow. I hear yah. My friend is doing the EXACT same thing. But she NEVER acts positive. She is just all dark as in life is nothing too her. I don't know what to do, well...I didn't. I talked to her. I uh...strapped her to a chair with a scharf. She freaked but she listeend to me. It was funny, she said she didn't want her life to go like this. She wanted to grow up, have a family and have a good job. She said she had no idea what went wrong. I asked her waht she wanted to do aout it. She told me to get her some proffesional help, so I went to the School counceler. he helped her. She's been seeing him for about a week now. She's changed. Her attitude has changed. I'm so proud of her. So my advice to you is talk to her about iit. Starp her to a chair if you have too. Or find and adult.

[yay2008]

thanks good charlotte, but about 3 months ago i DID tell the councelar about her being depressed, and cutting, they told her mom and refferd her to a therapist, her parents refuse to do anything about it and only took her to like 3 appointments (not even to the one they reffered) then i told the counsular about her abbusive bf and that she was suicidal and she and her parents got really pissed at me! so now she's added drugs to it and im at a loss. and iv tried to talk to her about it adn she just gets really pissed and says she hates reality and getting high is the only way to fix being a screw up. and i just talked to her and now she says that she NEEDs cut in order to live. but yet stopping cutting is higher on her list of stopping than drugs. plus she dosnt really listen when i tell her that i'm worried and asking her to please stop and save her future. i still dont know wat to do

[good_charlotte_freak2]

woah, that's over your head. She needs someone other than her family. Talk to the coucelar about what the possibillities are. Ask him/her NOT to tell her parents or talk to her until you figure out a plan. Otherwise I don't know what you can do.

[ShySoul]

It's a sad thing that your friend is going through. And if her parents aren't doing anything, thats even more dangerous. Talk to the counselor. Tell her everything thats going on and see what can be done. Sounds like it may be necessary to get the authorities involved and get her some serious help.

 

As much as this hurts, that is about all you can do. That and be her friend, supporting her when you can. But she needs more help then you can offer her. Also look out for yourself. Don't feel like you should be doing more or blame yourself, its easy to start thinking like that. Only she can change things for herself. Do what you can, get help. But don't think you have to take this on yourself.

[yay2008]

thanks for ur help

[helpmehelpmydaughter]

I'm a mom of a teenager who is cutting. I found out a couple of days ago and we are working on it. I think it is important for your friends mother to know what is happening to her child. This is a lot for an adult to deal with much less a teenager with your own headaches. You sound like a wonderful person wanting to help your friend, but I think this is bigger than both of you. If you can't tell her mother about this can you speak to a counselor at school? My daughters friend seen the cut marks on my daughter and carried her to the school counselor and that is how we got started. I am so thankful that I know and can now help my baby (of course with the help of professionals). It sounds like your friend is on a very dangerous road and really needs help before it's too late.

[ShySoul]

yay2008,

 

If you read this I just want to say that I'm still thinking of you and your friend, hoping she has gotten some kind of help. I wish both of you the best in dealing with this.